Ever want to just leave?

I've had one of those weeks.  I just want to sell off about 90% of my stuff, find some low census tropical island, buy a house there and move.  No job, no stress just warm sandy beach, ocean waves, hubby and my pets.   I mean to the point I was looking at places to move to online lol.  

Heck at this point, I just want to sell my house, and move someplace new so there would be more opportunities for RN work.  I'd love to work in an ICU, but well, I don't want to have to drive 80 min one way to have that opportunity. Esp not in the winter.  That would SUCK!  But it was always a dream of mine when I went to nursing school to work in an ICU, and here I am 21 years later, and still no ICU job. Sigh.  Sometimes small town living sucks.  Yes, they are great things about being from and living in a small town, but man opportunities is not one of them.    I've literally thought "well how bad would it be if I was part-time there"  Um, slightly less driving lol.   But maybe it would be worth it.

Anyone want to build a really big hospital about 30 min or less from my house?  One with a dedicated ICU, OB, med surg, and ortho floors?   I'd go work in Des Moines to get lots of experience so I could work ICU after you get it built!


So here I am, looking at places to live in Costa Rica lol.  I have enough makeup for 5 people, so I could do with less and do with buying less  Looks like depending on where you live the temps are just were I like them, low 80s for highs, 60s for lows.  Affordable, friendly to Americans, good health care.  Gee, why am I still here??? LOL.

This is my one night after 4 in a row.  Man, I'm sick of working.  I want to cut back to part-time so bad. I'm tired of being tired.   And I'm tired of feeling frustrated about things I don't seem to have control over.   Its draining on a person.   And I do feel a little drained.

Maybe I just need to take a vacation.   Oh, I had a little more than a week off in May but really that was it in 2 years.  But right now, I can't afford to take a vacation lol. I can't afford the time off.  Isn't that a thing.  I'd love to have about 7 days off in a row, but I can't afford not to work.  Welcome to Mid Income USA.

Now I'm on a website for "the Best Places to Retire in 2017"  Malta looks good now too lol.

Time to make new goals, and plan how I'm going to get there

And not just fitness goals.  But what I want to do in life goals.  I have things I want but I need to nail them down and make them actual goals rather than just "wouldn't it be nice" things.
I want to eventually go down to part time, so I need to make goals on how to get to part time work and make enough money to have the extras I have now.
I want to reassess my fitness goals, make them more specific and make actual plans on how to get there, and stick to that plan.

I want my You Tube channel to get at least 100 subscribers and to get 50 views on new videos I put u by the time its up for a week.    Not quite sure how to plan for that lol other than keep making videos, and keep putting them out there on social media and maybe just maybe I'll get to 100 subscribers at the end of the year.  I'm just under 70, so I'm growing ever so slowly.

I also have travel goals.  I want to go to London someday.  And to Rome, and Athens.  So I need to make this a goal, and start making plans on how to save up money to go there, and then do it.  I want to do it before I get to old to walk around everywhere!

I've been really slacking off my fitness.  Been just so unmotivated.  I don't know why. Just am.   I can't figure out what lifting program to do, when to start, how to keep going.  And my eating has just dissolved into CRAP. I feel so bloated and just don't feel good about it at all. Maybe I'll just start really really slowly.  Count calories for a week just to see where I'm at.  And move on from there.  Figuring out what calories I need to slowly lose fat and build muscle, and do no more for a couple weeks.

I'm going to wash the drapes tonight, so maybe while I wait for them to get done I'll get out a notebook and start making out some goals and plans.   I need to really make obtainable goals, and set out plans on how to reach those goals. And maybe set up rewards for obtaining these goals.

Yep, that's what I'm going to do.  Set up goals, make out plans, and set up some rewards.

I hate unboxing videos, there I said it!

I really do.  I hate when the big makeup You Tubers either show off all the PR they get on You Tube, snapchat or Instagram.   It pisses me off!   Cause here I am, trying to get my hands  on some popular eye shadow palette, sometimes multiple times, and they are out!  But oh 50, or more You Tubers get free ones.  Great.   Maybe they wouldn't be sold out if they didn't send out all that PR.  

So I hate watching them unbox all their PR, esp when I know there is something in there I would really like to have, and can't get cause well, they ran out due to PR being given out to a whole bunch of "influencers" on You Tube.  

I know this is an unpopular opinion, or so it seems.  But well, I just get irritated that while I'm clicking away to try to get one palette that then gets sold out before I can, more than once, some You Tuber gets theirs for free. 

So when I see the PR unboxing, I just skip it.  Easy to do on You Tube but a little less easy on Snapchat lol.  And I know 99% of the PR is done to hype out products that we don't need to have hyped up.  I mean really?  Did the Jac Hill Morphe palette need to be hyped up by the You Tubers?  Um, NO!  But hype it they did and sent out a whole bunch of freebies while those of us who would gladly pay to get it, can't cause it's "sold out"   I've about decided I don't want it anymore.  You're loss Morphe!

Rant over for today.

When I die, Amazon will send flowers

And probably see their profits go down by 10% lol.   Yep, I did some ordering on Prime day.  And not just stuff on sale, but other stuff too.

I ordered some vitamins, cause I was running low, and it was a brand I've used before.  Some pre-workout stuff,  workout leggings, which I didn't need but oh well. Makeup brushes, which again, I didn't need, but they were so pretty!!  And stuff that's suppose to help grow out eyebrows cause mine are super thin.  I'll review that stuff on my You Tube channel.

Then today, I took advantage of the try to buy thing they have.  You can get some clothes, try it for 7 days, send back what doesn't work, keep what does.  I ordered 4 scrubs.  I tried a new brand.  I have a thing for scrubs.  I want them to be "just so"  And sometimes a large in one brand is to big, while the next brand, I can barely get them on.  Annoying.  So, I'm going to actually try them out.  I have 2 pair that I got recently,that I wish I had tried on first.  The thighs are not how I like them, meaning they are a little tighter than I like, and the waist it almost to loose.  UGH!

I get enough stuff from Amazon, I'm sure if I died tomorrow, they would send flowers to my funeral lol.   But what can I say.  So easy to shop on Amazon.  And the return policy is good too.

I will be getting ready for work really soon.  I don't wanna.  My heel hurts a little and thinking of walking on it is not filling me with joy.  I have no idea what I did to it.  Woke up this afternoon and my right heel was hurting.  Great.  At least I have med exchange today so that will keep me sitting for a couple hours doing that.  I hope my foot feels better tomorrow. Its leg day tomorrow, and I don't want to miss on leg day, at all.

I needed new shoes like I need someone to shoot me with a nail gun in my foot, twice

But I ordered them anyway!!  Here they are :

Are they not pretty?  I'm going to be wearing them when I do more metabolic kind of workout, something like Crossfit.  And when I'm doing upper body weights.  I have my lifter shoes for when I work legs, but these will be great for upper body.   So there lol.

I also ordered new stuff from BH Cosmetics.  I needed it.  LOL!  I can't even type that with a straight face lol.  I'm also looking to get somethings from Sephora tomorrow.   I was really good this week and put a nice big chunk of money into savings, and I still have plenty of money left over after paying the bills so why not?   I worked extra that week, I kind of deserve it.  I also just got done pre-ordering two palettes from Pinky Rose Cosmetics.  I like pre-ordering.  Unlike Morphe, or Colourpop, which both sold out before I could even get online, I will get these 2 palettes.

I've been doing better in the staying active goals I've got set for myself.  I think smaller changes like that will help me reach my fitness goals I've got.  I can't just rely on good workouts, if I sit on my ass the rest of the day.  Getting up and moving around more all through the day, plus good workouts and reasonable eating will get me there.

Still processing my before shots. OMG!  WTF!  How did I let it get that fucking bad?   Like I said, I know I was fat, but WOW!  Put a maternity top on, and I could easily look 8 months preggers.  WTF???  If looking at those pictures doesn't get me up off my ass and trying to burn that crap off, I might as well just sit in a bed, eat and become one of those people at the beginning of "My 600lb Life"

Well, I'd better think about getting ready for a workout.  Yesterdays kind of sucked.  At least I got up and moved so that's still so much better than sitting on my butt.  Today I'm planning on kicking a little butt!  And growing mine into a nice firm round booty!

My Independence from Fat Day!

So, I did  something today.  I took my "before" pictures, (UGH)  😭  and I also took some measurements 😱   OMG!  Not what I wanted to do today.  But I had to.    I did a video I just posted today on my You Tube channel explaining WHY you really need to do this kind of stuff, even if you'd rather not.  Here's a link, if you care :
Why we need to

So, I got that awful task done, and I didn't even throw up once.   So it's all good!

I have declared today my Independence from Fat Day.  Cause you realize just cause we declared our independence, back on July4 1776, we had a lot of fighting before we were actually independent.  So, I'm declaring my independence from being fat, and now I'm going to cont. to fight to get it off. 

I hit a new PR on deadlifts yesterday. 240lbs for one rep.  It was hard and a messy looking lift, but I did it!  Do I'm happy about that.

Waiting on some stuff to get here. Thanks to the holiday, all my stuff I ordered is a day later getting here than it would have been.  I've got some skin care from The Ordinary, I'll be reviewing it. Some makeup from Sephora, and a new 45lbs barbell.  That way I can have 2 to superset with.   OH, and more workout pants cause 45 pair isn't enough lol   I always need more workout pants.

So, in a little while, I'll be getting ready for work, and trying to stay awake.  I managed a short nap today. Hope its enough. 

Where fore art thou flexibility???

So, I have found that my flexibility has left me.   It packed it bags and went off to parts unknown.  Sigh.  It leaves me feeling tight and probably causing a few aches I get on occasion. Being inflexible is not a healthy thing.

So, I'm starting to work on it.  Been warming up and then doing a little mobility work before my workout, then flexibility and mobility after.  Man, I am so freaking TIGHT!  But it feels so good to work on my flexibility. I mean, its that weird kind of almost hurts when I'm doing it, and feels so good at the same time.   Why did I quit actively working on this?  Not my brightest move ever lol.

Working tonight.  Then I get one night off before working 3 in a row.  Thank goodness they are 8 hour shifts.  I have to go in an hour early for some reason.  I'm a little salty about it, but oh well.  One more hour pay for me.

Not much else is going on.  Just hanging out and working. And working out lol.  I ordered a second Olympic barbell.  That way I can do supersets or go back and forth between two moves without having to unload and reload my barbell.   I can do deadlifts and say, clean and jerks, with 2 barbells which will be nice!

I guess that's about it.  Time to do a little research on the foundation I'm reviewing today.  Later all.