I am NOT a day shifter!

Nope, I am not.  Who thinks getting up at 4am is a good thing? WTF people.   4am is a great time to go to bed and go to  sleep. It is not a time to get out of bed. Period.

I just got done with 3 long day shifts.  It was training, but man, I hated it.  I was so much more tired doing those day shifts than I am doing my night shifts.    I just can't seem to get to bed early enough, sleep long enough, or well enough.  I wake up, thinking I'm oversleeping, only to find its not even midnight.  Then try to go back to sleep for 20 min, only to do the whole thing in an hour. UGH!

I'll get back to my night shifts on Christmas night.  Until then, I have 4 days/nights off.  Time to clean the house, and get that last couple things for Christmas picked up.   And I might look at some new shoes.  Been a while since I bought non-work shoes.  Maybe a nice pair of heels or a new pair (or two) of boots.

Gonna make a different YouTube Channel

I had a channel long ago, before I started my Barbells and Beauty channel.  I had a whole 3 videos on it.  One from a mission trip to South Africa, and a couple from a lady who made bad workout dvds, but I owned a few of the dvds and posted a couple clips after she went out of business.  Mainly for people to see how bad her workout form was, meaning how badly she did the moves she was trying to teach.

Anyway, I am going to revive that account, and start filming my fitness journey.  Its something I think I need to do.   I need to get it out there for more people to see.  To help keep me accountable.

Right now I have all of 3 subscribers lol.  So I've got a ways to go.  Quite a way to go.

I wanted to split my beauty portion with the fitness/weight loss journey.  While I think the two are connected, most people either want to watch fitness stuff, or beauty stuff, and no the two of them together. 

So now I need to see if I can build this channel up some. If you are interested in it here it is
Rhonda Gets Fit

Hurrah for me! Saving money!!

So, I've managed to put a couple hundred bucks into my small savings account.

I've got the big one, the one where we pull money out for emergencies, regular stuff, that sort of thing. Then this  last summer, I started one in a different bank, so it will be harder to access the money, for the things I want to buy for the house, or just myself. 

Right now, I am saving up for a fancy woo woo refrigerator.  So I'm gonna need to save up some bucks cause what I'm looking at will cost a little more than $2000. But my "DREAM FRIDGE " is more like $2800 EEK!  I've got a ways to go.  But hey, a couple hundred here and a couple hundred there, it will add up and maybe by this spring, I'll have the refrigerator I really want.

Then I can start saving up for a new laptop.  Mine is gonna be 4 years old, and its starting to show its age a little bit.  Between the crack that its getting in the base, and the fact I'm running out of storage, and its slowing down some, I just need/want a new laptop.  Besides, there might be new games I want to play and this one might not have the space, or ability to, so that can't be.

Been slacking off BIG TIME on my fitness/weight loss goals.  I need to get this shit together or I'll be fat forever.  

I'm not sure why I've been slacking.  I think the time of year, you know, almost no sunshine, the change in weather,  cause we literally went from it being 60 degrees to 25 degrees in 24 hours.  UGH. Then it snowed. Ok so it didn't stick, but still. It snowed. UGH!

I just need to get back in the game, cause I don't want to be a chunk the rest of my life.  I have GOALS!  I just need to make plans for those goals.

Maybe I need to start a new You Tube channel just for my weight loss goals. Might not be a bad thing. having a channel just for my fitness and weight loss.  What do you thing. Anyone???

Back to reality

SOOOOOO, for the last week or so, I've eaten what I want, regardless of calorie count, macro count,  and regardless of how it made me feel that bloated, I think I may look 8 mo pregnant after I'm done eating.

I've also sat on my now growing, but not in the "she squats" way, ass and not done one workout in the last week or so.

So now, its time to get back to the reality, that I'm overfat, can't eat whatever I want, whenever I want, and sit around and be a fit woman.

Nope, I need to count calories, count macros, workout, move around more often, and hope that I'm doing enough of all of those things to try and drop about 20lbs of fat, while putting on a few pounds of muscle.

We went up to visit our middle daughter in  Ankeny IA today.  It was so great to see her.  Went out to eat at Outback Steakhouse, which was yummie!!!  We had a nice visit.  I miss getting to visit with her whenever I want, but that's what happens when your kids grow up and move out.

And while driving around, looking for where our youngest daughter's apartment will be, she's going to Ankeny as well to collage,   I was yearning a little bit for the opportunities of a bigger town/small city.   The gyms, the restaurants, the places to shop, the job opportunities, etc.   Small town living is nice and all, but man it would be nice to have more places to eat out, a couple real gyms to workout in, and more than 2 small grocery stores to buy food in.  And a bigger hospital to work in where maybe I could be a full time ICU nurse.

We went to one of the big Hy-Vee stores to pick out a few things, and man, the food choices!  Got some good fruits and veggies. LOVED IT!   Saw at least 3 gyms, plus an Orange Theory which is a specialized gym,  and I know there is at least one Crossfit gym there.   Plus nice places to walk/run outside. 

Just wish I had more things like that around.  Nearest gym is over 35 min away.  One way.   Yes I have my own home gym, but it would be nice to have a leg press machine to use and a couple other machines to use, which I don't have, can't afford, and don't have room for anyway. 

Oh well.  Guess I'll just have to make due with what's not here, and just yearn for more from time to time.  All I can do, but it does suck sometimes.

I have the best idea for eye shadows palettes!

To bad I'm a really tiny YouTuber cause if I had 50,000+ subs, I could probably get a colab with a makeup brand and get it made.  A smaller brand I'm sure, but I'd be thrilled to colab with BH Cosmetics or something like that. BH Cosmetics makes some of my favorite eye shadows period.

I have an idea for a Goddess line, first using Greek goddesses.  Athena, Artemis, Hera, Hestia and maybe Aphrodite, but everyone uses her name.

Then maybe a Norse goddess line.  Sif, Frigg, Freya, Idun.

Then we switch and have a Fae line using the Celtic goddesses, who some call the Fae.   Like Flidais Morrigan, Brigid, Cerridwen.

I have colors to use for all of them.

Sigh.  But no, we are stuck with unicorns, My Little Pony, and mermaids.  I'm over them.  But we are surrounded with those lines, and what I think would be so pretty will never see the light of day.

Maybe I need to learn how to make eye shadows and start my own Etsy line of makeup.  Maybe I could make it big, or bigger, like Bitter Lace Beauty who makes my favorite highlighters.

So my readers, go watch all my YouTube videos, subscribe to my channel and help me grow so I can make my own colab with a makeup company!!  I'm sure you'd love my eye shadow palettes lol.

I am so sore lol

So I started a new workout program  The Year One Challenge

I've done two days, and now everything hurts lol.    I don't think I can move my arms.  I might be able to in about 3 days, but well, tonight, and tomorrow, I'm sure I won't be able to move my arms lol.  Great workouts. I'm gonna soak in a nice hot tub of Epsom salts.

I've managed to lose another 2lbs, so that's a good thing.  I won't take measurements for another few weeks cause well it takes a while for that to catch up


I picked myself up something today.  Something I've been wanting for quite some time.  The Queen of Hearts palette by Coloured Raine. Its been on my want to buy list for months now, and I just decided to get it. 

Isn't it pretty!   I can't wait to use it.

Been going through my collection and trying to declutter things I don't want/need.  Its super hard cause I want to keep it all, but really, I don't need 8 palettes with bright colors when I don't use bright colors very often.  But I want to keep them all lol.  But they need to go to homes where they will get used more often,  so I need to let them go.  I'll make a decluttering video soon. 

That's about all I have to say today.

So I might be getting something like this... need to keep my butt high and tight.

Time to get a couple more things for my home gym.  Now these may not be the exact things I buy, but they represent what I'm planning on buying.

First, a hyperextention bench.  Hyperextenstions work your glutes and lower back.  I want my ass to NOT fall down around my knees, and well, you know what they call a nurse without back pain?  A liar.  I don't usually have back pain, so lets work those muscles to prevent any back pain.
Here's what I'm looking at,

Then second, a pull up tower.  I want to do pull ups if it kills me.  Period.  Even if I only manage to eeek out one, I want to say I did a pull up.  And trying to use my barbell up high is not a good sub.  It wiggles, which sort of freaks me out.  So I need a pull up tower.
This probably won't be what I buy, but its one I'm looking at. 

So I'm going to be getting back to heavy weight lifting next week.  And I'll be working towards obtaining my goal  of doing ONE PULL UP.  And the everlasting goal of building a butt, and keeping up where butts belong. 

So there it is.  Things for my gym I want to buy.  I can get these while still saving up for that new fridge that I want. 

And I'll hopefully look better and feel better  and be healthier with these. Makeup, I'll just look better lol

What a wonderful weekend!

I've been needing a really great weekend away with my hubby.  Its been a while since we had a nice get away.   So our NASCAR weekend this weekend was so nice.   We were not really that far away from home, and I know most people would NOT think going to 2 NASCAR races sounds like a fun time, but it is for us. 

We spent the weekend in a hotel,  got up and ate breakfast at Waffle House and went off to the races!   The XFinity race was a little boring until the last few laps!  The Monster Energy race, great racing, some good wrecks, one really shitty thing that happened to my hubby's favorite driver, and a good finish.

Of course, this means I've sat WAY to much, ate WAY to much, and now feel a little bloated.  But tomorrow things will start going back to normal.  We go home, and I go off to some training for my hospital job.  And then I'll workout!  I need to.

I did pick up a couple beauty things.  One was something I've wanted for MONTHS!  The Anastasia of Beverly Hills Moon Child highlight palette.

Its so pretty!  I can't wait to start using it.
I also got a new beauty blender, and some eye liner cause I wear it more often in the fall/winter and mine is getting well, dried out. 
I also got some stuff from Bath and Body Works. I needed more of that like I need a hole in my head, but whatever lol.  I'll smell nice at least.

Hubby also splurged on himself getting some coins. He collects them, and got a mess of Wheat pennies which he can't wait to sort, and other old coins.  I'm glad we were both able to pick up a few things for ourselves.

Going back to reality kind of sucks.  Maybe we can win the lottery and we can do this thing more often.  I'd pay my kids lots of money to pet sit for us while we go off on our weekend vacations.  Each one could take turns pet sitting and we'd pay them a nice chunk of money for their trouble.

I'm gonna be an empty nester!

And while I'm mostly ok about it, there is a weird feeling about thinking that all my kids will be mostly gone.   Our youngest child has been going to community collage nearby just driving back and forth, but she's planning on transferring to another one, and moving up there, meaning  she'd be gone most of the time. 

Feels a little, um, weird, thinking about the last of my kids moving away.  When the oldest did, it was weird, but I had 2 others at home, so it was ok.  When our middle girl left to go off to collage,  it was again, weird, but our youngest was still home so I got over it.

But our "baby"  is leaving. That's just weird.  To not having any kids at home.    Its something we've been working towards for a while, raising healthy adults that are confident to be out on their own.    But then reality hits, and for the first time in nearly 25 years, we won't have any kids at home.   Oh, the two younger ones will be home some for holidays etc, but well, they are moving on to the next chapter in their lives.  Guess we will too.

Now, if I could just win the lottery so I could quit working, or maybe way cut back to like one night a work that would be great. Then we could travel, go see interesting things, and be together.  That would be really awesome.

Guess I need to start saving up more money and then maybe we could do just that lol.

So many things I don't want to buy

And I mean so many beauty things I don't want to buy.  I know some people think I buy everything out there, but really, there are so many things out or coming out that I have no interest in.  Pretty much all the Too Faced holiday stuff, I have no desire for.  Same with a few Tarte things that are around for the holidays.  Just nope.  And there is some Natasha Denona stuff I just don't want.   Just don't want to get it.    I just want to use what I've already got for the most part.   Oh, there is one or two things I kind of want but well,  right now, there isn't much coming out that makes me go "OMG I NEED THIS'

So I'm just going to either save up that money, or spend it on other things like clothes, or fitness stuff.  Maybe new boots.    I don't know.  Maybe just save it up and buy something really big like the new refrigerator or a new laptop.   I have a really nice fridge that I want actually a couple of them.  Maybe need to do some comparison shopping.  Heck, if I quit buying makeup for a few months, I could about afford a really nice new fridge.  

Here are a couple ones I think would be great:

I love how I can write my grocery list right on that front panel.  Nice!

Love that center pull out for fruits and veggies.   Now, if I could just put that center pull out on the Samsung with that front panel, I'd be set.

So maybe I will just start saving up for a new fridge.   Just cut back a little on the makeup and fitness stuff, put a couple hundred in savings a month and I'd have one in to time at all!

Making fitness plans through the end of the year

Ok, so it took me all FREAKING summer but I finally managed to lose 5lbs.  All summer. 

And I want to keep that going.  Cause hey 5lbs lost in 4months is still better than no weight lost, and miles ahead of 5lbs gained.  


So in the month of Sept, cause I've been struggling a little, ok a lot, I did something.  I took the month and gathered info.  Things like my average step counts,  how many calories I actually eat, and what I can eat and still lose weight.  I went through the fitness books/programs I have collected over the last few decades.   Yes, I've had a few books, like Body for Life, forever. 

So now I'm going to increase my average step count up 250 a month until I'm up to averaging 10,000 a day.    I also have set my calorie count in My Fitness Pal.

And I've decided to do this program:

I'm going to do a couple weeks of the breakin workout, then Fat Loss 1 and Fat Loss 2.   I did that program several years ago and I lost inches, weight and got quite a bit stronger.  So why not do that again.

I've got my 10lbs weight loss goal set up, and my 15lbs weight loss goal set up, and I can't wait to get to that point so I can get them!

Hit my first goal!!!

So, over the summer, I managed to FINALLY lose 5lbs.    OMG!!!  I'm  so happy!  So I ordered this!

It comes tomorrow.   I can't wait to get it.  I've watched a few reviews on it, and it looks great. These colors just speak to me.  They are colors I just love!

Now, on to my next goal.   I think when I get rid of 10lbs, or get down to a size 12 pants I will get this.

Its a skin care serum that I've read is really good. Very expensive, but well, what's the point of all the makeup if my skin looks like crap?  So this will be my 10lbs/size 12 reward.

Back at the workouts tonight.  

Hope all is well with you.

Goals and Rewards for weight loss

So, I'm getting serious about my weight loss.  I've FINALLY managed to see the scale move down, along with seeing some loosening of pants in the waist.  FINALLY!  About freaking time.

So I've got some goals and I've got a few rewards for myself when I hit those goals.

When I lose 5lbs, I'm going to reward myself with this:

The Huda Beauty Desert Dusk palette.  I've lost 4lbs so I don't have far to go! 

When I either lose 15lbs or get into the size 10 jeans I bought last week as a my mid goal I'm going to reward myself with this.

The Natasha Denona Lila palette.  Insanely expensive at $129 but I think if you drop 15lbs and or 2pant sizes you NEED something kind of expensive to reward yourself with.

So, I need to drop one more pound  for reward number 1, and 11 more, or get down to those size 10 jeans for reward number 2.  I'm a loose 14 now.   At the beginning of summer I was a tight 14, so that's something.  I'm betting I'd be a  loose 12 had I not done as much cheating as I did, but oh well.

I really feel like things are kind of clicking with my weight loss.  I hope so.  Struggling gets annoying.

I'm back doing video based workouts for a while. Just feel like it and you might as well make workouts as fun as you can.  Today, I'm going to go for a walk outside, and then do a bunch of stretching and mobility work.  I'm tight and losing flexibility like crazy and I want to reverse that now while I can. Besides, when I do a bunch of stretching, I just feel GOOD! 

Hope all is well with you.  Going to film another video for my You Tube channel.

Time to do some decluttering

Its that time of year again. The time of year where I go through my closets and I get rid of some stuff.  I really need to.  Its been a long time since I did a big old declutter.  I've got so many clothes I just need to get rid of some of them.  I'm going to really go through my scrubs.  Except for my holiday scrubs, I just don't like the ones with cutie patterns on them as much anymore.   That and I've had some of them for more than 12 years, soooo.  I've been slowly replacing them with nice solid color ones or ones with less cartoonish patterns.

I've also put in storage a few things that are just that little bit to small for me right now.  I want to keep it around cause I WILL be losing more weight and I WILL be able to wear them. Unless, of course cause they are shorts and capris, maybe I'll lose more weight and next spring, I can't wear them cause I'm to dang small!  That would be amazing!

I got rid of a couple things of makeup, and I need to get rid of some more of it.  I've got a couple foundations I want to try out with a couple other primers first to see if they are any better, but if not, out they go.  Same with a couple eye shadow palettes.  I've got a couple that are pretty dang similar, and I might as well decide which I like better and let the other one go.

Been going through my collection, and wearing stuff I've not worn for a while.  Its a good way to rediscover things I almost forget I have, and to reaffirm that I DON'T need the 12th palette with the same colors, I don't NEED a pale peach blush cause I have 2 already, and that maybe I could slow down a little on buying makeup.

I've been thinking and well, I think I'm going back to work at the hospital.  Hospital nursing is my passion.  Being in the nursing home is nice and all, but its not where my heart is.   I just enjoy working in a hospital setting so much more.  I think what I'll do is stay every other weekend at the nursing home for a while cause well, I do love the people there.  The residents are mostly great.  I don't want to totally leave them.    I have not told them about this yet.  Kind of decided just today.   I'll get to telling them next week.  I've got tonight and tomorrow off and I just don't want to think about work.

Well, I think that's it for now.  I'm going to give myself a pedicure, take a hot bath, and give myself a facial.  While drinking a wine cooler or two.  I think I deserve that.

Ever want to just leave?

I've had one of those weeks.  I just want to sell off about 90% of my stuff, find some low census tropical island, buy a house there and move.  No job, no stress just warm sandy beach, ocean waves, hubby and my pets.   I mean to the point I was looking at places to move to online lol.  

Heck at this point, I just want to sell my house, and move someplace new so there would be more opportunities for RN work.  I'd love to work in an ICU, but well, I don't want to have to drive 80 min one way to have that opportunity. Esp not in the winter.  That would SUCK!  But it was always a dream of mine when I went to nursing school to work in an ICU, and here I am 21 years later, and still no ICU job. Sigh.  Sometimes small town living sucks.  Yes, they are great things about being from and living in a small town, but man opportunities is not one of them.    I've literally thought "well how bad would it be if I was part-time there"  Um, slightly less driving lol.   But maybe it would be worth it.

Anyone want to build a really big hospital about 30 min or less from my house?  One with a dedicated ICU, OB, med surg, and ortho floors?   I'd go work in Des Moines to get lots of experience so I could work ICU after you get it built!


So here I am, looking at places to live in Costa Rica lol.  I have enough makeup for 5 people, so I could do with less and do with buying less  Looks like depending on where you live the temps are just were I like them, low 80s for highs, 60s for lows.  Affordable, friendly to Americans, good health care.  Gee, why am I still here??? LOL.

This is my one night after 4 in a row.  Man, I'm sick of working.  I want to cut back to part-time so bad. I'm tired of being tired.   And I'm tired of feeling frustrated about things I don't seem to have control over.   Its draining on a person.   And I do feel a little drained.

Maybe I just need to take a vacation.   Oh, I had a little more than a week off in May but really that was it in 2 years.  But right now, I can't afford to take a vacation lol. I can't afford the time off.  Isn't that a thing.  I'd love to have about 7 days off in a row, but I can't afford not to work.  Welcome to Mid Income USA.

Now I'm on a website for "the Best Places to Retire in 2017"  Malta looks good now too lol.

Time to make new goals, and plan how I'm going to get there

And not just fitness goals.  But what I want to do in life goals.  I have things I want but I need to nail them down and make them actual goals rather than just "wouldn't it be nice" things.
I want to eventually go down to part time, so I need to make goals on how to get to part time work and make enough money to have the extras I have now.
I want to reassess my fitness goals, make them more specific and make actual plans on how to get there, and stick to that plan.

I want my You Tube channel to get at least 100 subscribers and to get 50 views on new videos I put u by the time its up for a week.    Not quite sure how to plan for that lol other than keep making videos, and keep putting them out there on social media and maybe just maybe I'll get to 100 subscribers at the end of the year.  I'm just under 70, so I'm growing ever so slowly.

I also have travel goals.  I want to go to London someday.  And to Rome, and Athens.  So I need to make this a goal, and start making plans on how to save up money to go there, and then do it.  I want to do it before I get to old to walk around everywhere!

I've been really slacking off my fitness.  Been just so unmotivated.  I don't know why. Just am.   I can't figure out what lifting program to do, when to start, how to keep going.  And my eating has just dissolved into CRAP. I feel so bloated and just don't feel good about it at all. Maybe I'll just start really really slowly.  Count calories for a week just to see where I'm at.  And move on from there.  Figuring out what calories I need to slowly lose fat and build muscle, and do no more for a couple weeks.

I'm going to wash the drapes tonight, so maybe while I wait for them to get done I'll get out a notebook and start making out some goals and plans.   I need to really make obtainable goals, and set out plans on how to reach those goals. And maybe set up rewards for obtaining these goals.

Yep, that's what I'm going to do.  Set up goals, make out plans, and set up some rewards.

I hate unboxing videos, there I said it!

I really do.  I hate when the big makeup You Tubers either show off all the PR they get on You Tube, snapchat or Instagram.   It pisses me off!   Cause here I am, trying to get my hands  on some popular eye shadow palette, sometimes multiple times, and they are out!  But oh 50, or more You Tubers get free ones.  Great.   Maybe they wouldn't be sold out if they didn't send out all that PR.  

So I hate watching them unbox all their PR, esp when I know there is something in there I would really like to have, and can't get cause well, they ran out due to PR being given out to a whole bunch of "influencers" on You Tube.  

I know this is an unpopular opinion, or so it seems.  But well, I just get irritated that while I'm clicking away to try to get one palette that then gets sold out before I can, more than once, some You Tuber gets theirs for free. 

So when I see the PR unboxing, I just skip it.  Easy to do on You Tube but a little less easy on Snapchat lol.  And I know 99% of the PR is done to hype out products that we don't need to have hyped up.  I mean really?  Did the Jac Hill Morphe palette need to be hyped up by the You Tubers?  Um, NO!  But hype it they did and sent out a whole bunch of freebies while those of us who would gladly pay to get it, can't cause it's "sold out"   I've about decided I don't want it anymore.  You're loss Morphe!

Rant over for today.

When I die, Amazon will send flowers

And probably see their profits go down by 10% lol.   Yep, I did some ordering on Prime day.  And not just stuff on sale, but other stuff too.

I ordered some vitamins, cause I was running low, and it was a brand I've used before.  Some pre-workout stuff,  workout leggings, which I didn't need but oh well. Makeup brushes, which again, I didn't need, but they were so pretty!!  And stuff that's suppose to help grow out eyebrows cause mine are super thin.  I'll review that stuff on my You Tube channel.

Then today, I took advantage of the try to buy thing they have.  You can get some clothes, try it for 7 days, send back what doesn't work, keep what does.  I ordered 4 scrubs.  I tried a new brand.  I have a thing for scrubs.  I want them to be "just so"  And sometimes a large in one brand is to big, while the next brand, I can barely get them on.  Annoying.  So, I'm going to actually try them out.  I have 2 pair that I got recently,that I wish I had tried on first.  The thighs are not how I like them, meaning they are a little tighter than I like, and the waist it almost to loose.  UGH!

I get enough stuff from Amazon, I'm sure if I died tomorrow, they would send flowers to my funeral lol.   But what can I say.  So easy to shop on Amazon.  And the return policy is good too.

I will be getting ready for work really soon.  I don't wanna.  My heel hurts a little and thinking of walking on it is not filling me with joy.  I have no idea what I did to it.  Woke up this afternoon and my right heel was hurting.  Great.  At least I have med exchange today so that will keep me sitting for a couple hours doing that.  I hope my foot feels better tomorrow. Its leg day tomorrow, and I don't want to miss on leg day, at all.

I needed new shoes like I need someone to shoot me with a nail gun in my foot, twice

But I ordered them anyway!!  Here they are :

Are they not pretty?  I'm going to be wearing them when I do more metabolic kind of workout, something like Crossfit.  And when I'm doing upper body weights.  I have my lifter shoes for when I work legs, but these will be great for upper body.   So there lol.

I also ordered new stuff from BH Cosmetics.  I needed it.  LOL!  I can't even type that with a straight face lol.  I'm also looking to get somethings from Sephora tomorrow.   I was really good this week and put a nice big chunk of money into savings, and I still have plenty of money left over after paying the bills so why not?   I worked extra that week, I kind of deserve it.  I also just got done pre-ordering two palettes from Pinky Rose Cosmetics.  I like pre-ordering.  Unlike Morphe, or Colourpop, which both sold out before I could even get online, I will get these 2 palettes.

I've been doing better in the staying active goals I've got set for myself.  I think smaller changes like that will help me reach my fitness goals I've got.  I can't just rely on good workouts, if I sit on my ass the rest of the day.  Getting up and moving around more all through the day, plus good workouts and reasonable eating will get me there.

Still processing my before shots. OMG!  WTF!  How did I let it get that fucking bad?   Like I said, I know I was fat, but WOW!  Put a maternity top on, and I could easily look 8 months preggers.  WTF???  If looking at those pictures doesn't get me up off my ass and trying to burn that crap off, I might as well just sit in a bed, eat and become one of those people at the beginning of "My 600lb Life"

Well, I'd better think about getting ready for a workout.  Yesterdays kind of sucked.  At least I got up and moved so that's still so much better than sitting on my butt.  Today I'm planning on kicking a little butt!  And growing mine into a nice firm round booty!

My Independence from Fat Day!

So, I did  something today.  I took my "before" pictures, (UGH)  😭  and I also took some measurements 😱   OMG!  Not what I wanted to do today.  But I had to.    I did a video I just posted today on my You Tube channel explaining WHY you really need to do this kind of stuff, even if you'd rather not.  Here's a link, if you care :
Why we need to

So, I got that awful task done, and I didn't even throw up once.   So it's all good!

I have declared today my Independence from Fat Day.  Cause you realize just cause we declared our independence, back on July4 1776, we had a lot of fighting before we were actually independent.  So, I'm declaring my independence from being fat, and now I'm going to cont. to fight to get it off. 

I hit a new PR on deadlifts yesterday. 240lbs for one rep.  It was hard and a messy looking lift, but I did it!  Do I'm happy about that.

Waiting on some stuff to get here. Thanks to the holiday, all my stuff I ordered is a day later getting here than it would have been.  I've got some skin care from The Ordinary, I'll be reviewing it. Some makeup from Sephora, and a new 45lbs barbell.  That way I can have 2 to superset with.   OH, and more workout pants cause 45 pair isn't enough lol   I always need more workout pants.

So, in a little while, I'll be getting ready for work, and trying to stay awake.  I managed a short nap today. Hope its enough. 

Where fore art thou flexibility???

So, I have found that my flexibility has left me.   It packed it bags and went off to parts unknown.  Sigh.  It leaves me feeling tight and probably causing a few aches I get on occasion. Being inflexible is not a healthy thing.

So, I'm starting to work on it.  Been warming up and then doing a little mobility work before my workout, then flexibility and mobility after.  Man, I am so freaking TIGHT!  But it feels so good to work on my flexibility. I mean, its that weird kind of almost hurts when I'm doing it, and feels so good at the same time.   Why did I quit actively working on this?  Not my brightest move ever lol.

Working tonight.  Then I get one night off before working 3 in a row.  Thank goodness they are 8 hour shifts.  I have to go in an hour early for some reason.  I'm a little salty about it, but oh well.  One more hour pay for me.

Not much else is going on.  Just hanging out and working. And working out lol.  I ordered a second Olympic barbell.  That way I can do supersets or go back and forth between two moves without having to unload and reload my barbell.   I can do deadlifts and say, clean and jerks, with 2 barbells which will be nice!

I guess that's about it.  Time to do a little research on the foundation I'm reviewing today.  Later all.

Changing the way I eat, man, its hard

So, after a couple weeks of pretty much just counting calories, I've found what isn't working for me.  I've been eating pretty high carb.  I mean high carb.   And its not working for me at all.  I'm up a little bit in weight, and while I know most of that is water retention,  I also know that this way of eating is not working for me.  So, now I need to change.  But man, I'm gonna miss eating some of the high carb stuff I've been eating.    I've been enjoying my Cheerios and such, but well, if I want to have a smaller tummy, they need to be a cheat every once in a while, not a daily thing.

Been lifting heavy again.  Man, it makes me happy!  I  love being strong.  I love lifting up my barbell up and seeing if I can lift up a heavier weight than I could a couple weeks ago.  A couple weeks ago, I managed to deadlift 235lbs, and next week I'm going to try for 240lbs.   I'd also like to get my squat back to at least 200lbs or more!


I got a couple things in the mail this week.  Here's one:

Yep, I got the Urban Decay Naked Heat palette.  I love the colors, and I have always liked Urban Decay's naked eye shadows.

I'm sitting here watching a couple of my You Tube channels. I like the smaller channels better than the big people.  They are more "real" for the most part.   And being a smaller channel myself, I like supporting smaller channels.  Maybe someday I'll get up to 100 subscribers lol.  I hope.  I'd love to get up to 1000 eventually, and get 100 views on a regular basis.  Goals I guess.

Speaking of which, I need to film a video tomorrow.  Time to review either a new palette I've got or some new foundation.  Decisions,  decisions lol.

Don't weigh yourself after a cheat day lol

It's not good.   OK,mainly I did it just to see how bad it was.  I was up about a pound, but like I said, I had a cheat day yesterday.  Lots of salt, carbs, everything that retains water.     But, well, all that food I ate yesterday, and it was so good, steak, a big baked potato, spaghetti, Milk Duds,  its gonna help fuel my workout for today.  Leg day!!  I love leg day.

Yesterday my hubby, my youngest  and I went to Des Moines.  Spent probably a little to much money lol.  He got a couple coins, I got a new Coach purse and an eye shadow palette, daughter got some new nail polish.   And of course we got groceries and stuff like dog food.  At least the bills are  all paid up lol.

Today I start my new job.  While I'm looking forward to less driving, more stability, more time to workout, go to church, attend choir practice and have more time at home, I'm going to miss my full time job at the hospital.  My ultimate goal, is to be able to cut back to part-time.  I probably could now if we really cut back on stuff, but I enjoy air conditioning, having a lot of channels to say there is nothing on tv, my super fast internet, and my smart phone.   I'm hoping next summer, I can maybe really cut down to part-time, and work a couple nights a week and maybe go back to the hospital.  Maybe one night I could work the nursing home.    Why can't I just win the lottery and not have to work at all lol?  Oh, that's right. It helps your chances a little, if you play lol.

 Kind of a minor update.  Posting a You Tube video today.  My channel is Barbells and Beauty, if anyone cares to watch a video.

Ok, time to quit feeling sorry for myself!

Time to get up off my butt, and get this weight loss under MY control.  Time to quit feeling sorry for myself and letting myself eat whatever.  Time to get up and MOVE more and quit just thinking "I'll never do it so why try"  Time to count these calories, even the ones I don't want to count so I have the information I need to see what is causing me to not get this fat off my body.   Time to, as Nike says "JUST DO IT"  Or maybe like Yoda says "Do or do not, there is no try"  I'm gonna do it. I'm not gonna try to lose fat and build muscle, I'm going to just do it.

So I started the right way today.  I actually counted my calories and I'm getting ready to go into my gym and get a workout in before I go to work tonight.   I've got plans on getting more active, mainly getting more steps in cause I tend to be a lazy ass and like to sit on my time off from work.  This needs to stop.   I'm going to measure myself again, take some "before" pictures and save them up, and do it again in 6 weeks to see how I'm doing.   So yep, there it is.

Ok, short blog today.  But I needed to say this stuff.  I needed to get it out there, so I can reread it over and over again.   I am going to lose body fat, and I'm going to build up muscle.

So I sure suck at this losing weight thing

I filmed a video about it if anyone cares.   Its basically an invitation to watch me as I meander around the weigh loss journey.  Right now I feel like I'm stuck in a ditch lol.   And run over lol.  But really, I'm going to start filming things on my journey, like workouts, eating, me bitching that losing weight is hard.  I'd love to have a few people give me thumbs up or comments.   I need some support, or more support.  Cause this weight loss stuff is hard.  More mentally hard, but hard.

After spending a couple days, ok mostly spending time at night after everyone else goes to bed and I'm alone in the world, I've decided,  I'm making it to hard.  I'm trying to follow this type of eating, or that type of eating.  I just need to be really simple.  I'm just going to count calories for a while and not worry about macros, etc.   I'm going to get my calories at 2000 and just see what that does.  Ok, I'm going to make sure I'm getting at least 110gms of protein. Only cause I know I need protein to build muscle. But otherwise, just 2000 calories and just let it be.  And maybe after I'm feeling settled in my new job, and  things feel better overall, I'll worry about macros, and all that jazz.   I just think I'm trying to over think stuff, then feel overwhelmed, and then just get into a "screw it I'll eat ice cream"

I also can't wait until I get back to 8 hour shifts so I can workout more often.  I got new running shoes, cause I'm going to get back into running.  Here's a picture.

That's my boxer Phoenix in the background.  They are Hoka shoes.  The heels are a little different but they help roll you into the next step.  And I need all the help I can get.  The arch is a little higher than I'm use to so I need to wear them a little and get my feet ready for my first attempt at running.

Now I've been also overthinking workouts.  So I think I'm going to do something like upper body one day, lower body one day, a Crossfit style workout one day and cardio one to two days a week.  I think this combo will help build a little muscle, or if nothing else maintain what I've got, while helping improve my pathetic pathetic pathetic cardio capacity.

While I'm excited about starting a new job, having 8 hour shifts, being only 3 minutes away from my job, I'm really going to miss the hospital work.  Its been for the most part, enjoyable.  Oh, there crap about it I don't like, but its that way in every job ever.   I'm staying PRN there, and kind of hope if things ever work out, I could maybe just work part-time like 1-2 days, err, nights a week.    I'd love to be able to work just part-time and spend more time at home with my hubby.    But we've got 2 kids going to collage, and we're helping them out.  Oh, if we totally cut way back on stuff, we could probably do it. But I enjoy not sweating to death cause I can keep the air on.  And buying makeup here and there.  And having more tv channels, and super fast internet.  And the occasional new video game, or pair of workout shoes.  

I really need to go through my closet, and stuff and do a major decluttering.  I've got a bunch of books I could donate to the library, magazines to throw away or donate, other stuff I need to just get rid of.  I keep thinking I'm going to do that, and then I don't. I just need to get it done.

I hope everyone is doing great!

Drama in the beauty industry, who knew???

I've always loved makeup.  Since I was a young child, I loved playing with my mom's and my grandma's makeup.  My dad's mom use to let me get her makeup out and give her a "makeover"  Ok, so she probably looked more like a clown who was on crack cocaine putting her makeup on, but she was a great grandma and she always said she was beautiful.

So a few years ago, I started watching You Tube channels about makeup.  Oh a few tutorials here, a review there.  Nothing much.  I really enjoyed it.  Didn't really subscribe to many but I enjoyed it.  As I kept watching, I subscribed to a few more, and really got into it.  So much so I decided, after thinking about it for a few weeks, to start my own You Tube channel.

Ok, so I really started watching.  Really watching LOTS of channels.   I mean I watched so many channels, subscribed to them really watched how the set up was, what kind of content they did. Just trying to learn so I could make my channel not suck.  I mean, I want my channel to grow, I'd love to get over 1000 subscribers, but I don't even have 100 yet.  So I need to get it all figured out.

Then I found the drama.  OMG!  Who the hell knew that there was so much drama surrounding makeup.  I mean its like every other week its  Jeffrey Star vs Kat Von D  or Jaclyn Hill vs Becca.  Or the drama around Morphe's latest release.  Or makeup brushes.  Or a contract between a makeup guru and Too Faced.  Drama around who uses filters to make themselves look "perfect" during filming.   OMG! Does it ever stop?    Its like a train wreck that you really don't want to look at, but can't help it.

I've got to admit.  All this fucking drama kind of turns me off makeup just a little bit.  I've found out some companies seem so shady with business practices I'm a little put off of their products.  Or YouTubers caught in so many lies, I don't even want to watch their channels anymore.  Just makes it not so much fun anymore. 

Sometimes I think it was better before I knew all this stuff.  Maybe it was better to just go to the store, find something I liked and buy it rather than do a bunch of research and find out shit I really didn't want to know about drama that doesn't affect me. 

Oh well. I guess its just like that train wreck, I just can't quit watching.  Oh, I've cut down a little.  I have unsubscribed from a few people either seem to be in all the drama, or just seem more "fake" than they were a couple years ago.   That's helped. 

Just who knew there was such drama involved in the beauty industry?  I guess I didn't.

So, my daughter got married!!! And ramblings about skin care lol

Yes, that's one reason its been quite a while since I blogged.  My oldest daughter got married to an absolutely wonderful man.   We couldn't be happier for them both.  So we were a little busy though for a few days.  Here's a picture of my brand new family

I took vacation, and it sucked to have to go back to work after the wedding.  I mean it really sucked.   I really should have taken one more day off but oh well.

So, I've been trying some new stuff for skin care.  Back last year I was doing the Korean 10 step skin care.  Most days was only 5-6 steps, but one to two days a week I did the whole 10 steps.  My skin looked good,  and felt good.
So over the winter and this spring, I've tried some new stuff. Just well, trying out new stuff.  Um, I"m not nearly as happy with my skin.  Oh, its not bad, but its just not quite as happy as it was back last summer.
So I guess I'm going to be going back to that 10 step program.  Its going to be slow, cause I do want to use up some of the skin care that I have.  I mean I paid money for it and want to at least mostly use it up.  I can do it.  And as I use stuff up, replace it with the Korean stuff that seemed to work so well for me.

Guess I shouldn't try to fix stuff that seems to be working for me, right?   I'm sure in a few months, I'll get that itch and try another line etc and it won't work as well as my 10 steps.  Sigh.  Always looking for what's bigger/better.  The American way lol

Ok, so my Fitbit steps are usually CRAPPY!

I've had a Fitbit for a very long time.  Been through several versions.  The first one made ever, which I wore so much I broke it.  Charge,  now a Blaze and an Alta HR.  I like to alternate them depending on what I'm doing etc.

Well, my step count has gotten WORSE the older I get. I'm getting more and more lazy as I get older.  Oh, I workout, but unless I'm at work, or working out, I tend to sit on my ever growing butt.  All my favorite activities involve sitting.  Reading, watching tv, playing video games. 

So, I've decided to set a goal for my daily steps this month. I actually did it back on May 1,  But I've hit it everyday!!!  Ok, so its a pathetically low step number.  5000 steps a day.  I've hit it everyday.  And a few days I've gone way over, much closer to the 10,000 steps they say people should hit to be as healthy as you can be.

On June 1 I'm going to bump up my count to 5500.  I'm going to slowly bump it up every month until I'm hitting 9000-10,000 a day pretty consistently. 

I'll admit, I've had to step on the treadmill for 10-15 mins a few times kind of late at night to get to my goal, but hey, I got up out of my chair, and hit the treadmill to get those last 800 steps or so in, so good for me!!!

Been keeping up the Crossfit workouts at home.  I'm planning on keeping them up for a couple more weeks, then get back to straight heavy lifting at home.    I've really been enjoying doing my Crossfit workouts.  Its kind of nice to do them and while I push myself, I don't try to kill myself like I tended to do at the Crossfit gym.  I can just do it at my pace, and keep going or take a breather, and then go back to it.  

Not been buying a lot of makeup here in the last couple weeks.  Kind of on overload.  There is so much new stuff coming out and quite frankly, not much that's coming out is fresh.  Oh, Juvia's Place is coming out with a couple new palettes that look amazing, but other stuff, not really.  The same old nudes,  etc that I've got 10 palettes of.  Yawn.   Where are the greens, the purples, the colors?   I guess they don't matter to the brand name makeup companies.  Oh well. Plenty of indie brands I can buy from.

That's about it for me for now.  I hope to be buying a Concept2 rower in a couple weeks!

Crossfit at home, its not to bad

So I've been doing more Crossfit workouts at home in my home gym.  Been kicking my own butt, or trying to.  My cardio capacity SUCKS  really really SUCKS!  so I need to get that better.   So I'm kind of forcing myself to do workouts with cardio aspects, such as jumping rope,  I can't do double unders quite yet, box jumps/box climbs.  And next week I will do burpees.  I hate them, but they are a great cardio move that actually uses quite a few muscles.

Today my torture was:
5 round of
5 hang cleans
50 single jump rope
10 ab mat situps.
I thought I would die.  But I did it.  That's not counting my warm up, a couple min on the rower, some air squats and mobility work. 

I also ordered this:

Depending on how you have it set, its 16, 18 or 20 inches.  Box jumps, here I come.  Pray for my shins lol.  I guess I'll be wearing my knee high socks.

Been saving up Crossfit WOD in my Pinterest page.  Between Pinterest, the books I ordered and what Crossfit boxes post, I'll have WODs to keep me busy for a while.

I did order 2 things from BH Cosmetics, but that will be it for a while.  Time to save up for either a new bike or a new rower.  I got the new Caril Bybel palette and a highlighter palette.  

I work the next 3 nights in a row, then I get a few days off, err, nights off lol.   I did pick up one night shift at the nursing home, but other than that, I'll have like 10 nights off.  I won't want to go back I'm sure.  This will be good for me.  I think I was needing a whole bunch of nights off in a row.

Hubby and I went up to see Guardian's of the Galaxy Vo2 today.  We loved it. No, its not quite as good as the first, but I liked the opening scene better in the second over the first.  Baby Groot!!!
But there is a couple sad things, but I won't spoil them.  And we also picked up our daughter's wedding dress and hubby's new suit for her wedding in 2 weeks.  So it was a great day.

Hope you all have as good a day as I did with my hubby!

Less makeup, more fitness!!

So, I've decided something for this month.  I'm going to buy less makeup, cause really, how many eye shadow palettes do I need, and save up for more fitness stuff.   I literally have a list of stuff I want to buy.

Here's a few things I want to buy:
An Airdyne bike.  That's one of those bikes where the arms move when you peddle.  Great for getting the heartrate up.
A new rower.  I really want a Concept2.  I've got a real cheap one, but it doesn't show the number of meters that you row.   I want one that shows the meters you row.  And I've used a Concept2 before and its very smooth. 
A box or two for box jumps.  Or one that is multiple heights depending on what side is up.  I've got a step for step aerobics, but those are not stable enough for real box jumps.

So as you can see, I've got quite a list of stuff I want to get.  Why, well, I need to start focusing on my fitness.  Yes, I've been lifting weights, but I need to do more to get my fitness back.  So I need to start doing Crossfit stuff again.  It really works everything.  I think 2 days of pure lifting and 1-2 days of Crossfit style workouts.  I ordered 2 books that have Crossfit Wods so I can be ready.

 I ordered 2 books that have Crossfit workouts, a lot I can do at home.   Now comes the hard part. Forcing myself to do burpees.  I hate burpees.  I mean I really do.  But I need to make myself do them.  They are a great cardio move.  I need to do them. Maybe if I tell myself that enough, I'll actually do them lol.

So,  that's my plan.  I think the next thing I buy will be the box for box jumps. 

I do have a couple things of makeup I'll be getting.  Nothing much but a little.  I'm not going to go cold turkey in not buying makeup lol.  But if I cut back, I can actually use what I've already got, and buy fitness stuff.  And buy just enough to keep my You Tube channel happy with reviews and stuff.

Speaking of which, I need to film something this week.  I know just what I'm going to film, I just need to film it and edit it.  "Why did I buy that"  A  video on stuff I kind of wish I have left in the store.   Look for it soon.

Hope you all have a great day!

The good, the bad and the regrets

So today was overall good, with a little bad, and some regrets.

The good:
My oldest daughter Cyndi and I went to Des Moines.  She treated me to a facial, she got one too.  Then we had lunch and she had her second fitting for her wedding dress.  She looks so beautiful in it!!  Then we headed home.

Also good, my Total Gym was delivered today. I wasn't expecting it.   I didn't figure it would get here until next week.  I ordered it for my hubby so he can start his own fitness journey.

The bad, well, um,  eating. OMG!  I planned to eat fast food today for lunch.   We were only going to have  just under an hour between our facials and her dress fitting.  That was to include lunch and the drive there.  So fast food it was.  Fine, I made allowances for that.

The regrets!  OMG!  We went to buy more mats for our home gym for the Total Gym.  So we ate out again.   UGH!!  I feel so freaking fat and bloated now.  REGRETS!!!    I was going to workout, but man, my stomach kind of hurts.   I hope it feels better tomorrow.

I have to work the weekend.  I really don't want to lol.   Two nights in a row isn't bad, but that third gets to me.   Then this next week we have "training"    Stupid ass training. On days that do not work for 99% of us night shifters.  Cause they are days.  And one, I have to drive 40 mins, to go to training for 20 mins, then drive home 40 mins.  What a freaking waste of gas.   SMDH.    And the other,  I'll be going on very little sleep, so you know I won't care, I won't learn, and I won't be happy.  But they don't really care.    Oh well  I'll suck it up and do it cause I don't have much of a choice.  I just wish they would have just one or two more time offerings.   Or a couple more days.

Short blog today.   Still burping up supper.  Maybe a nice bath will make my tummy feel better.  Or maybe some Tums.

Why is it so expensive???

So I've been looking into fitness programs etc online.  Some are online programs that are kind of generic, some are literally just written weight lifting programs with some diet advice.  And some are more tailored to you, or so they say. 
Holy crap!  They are freaking EXPENSIVE!!!   One is $48 a month to be in the little exclusive club where you get some encouragement and programs that are somewhat tailored to you.   Then one woman, who is in great shape, she has written programs for weight training,etc.  Its like $90 for one program. WTF!  You only get a download.  If you want it printed, you have to use your own paper and ink.  Holy crap!    There are all sorts of these programs that are so freaking expensive and you don't even get to physically touch the person.    I paid less than that for my Crossfit and I had a hands on trainer, who helped me with form, programing, etc.   Of course, I'm now working out at home, so lol.  But still, I can get FREE workouts/programs on Bodybuilding.com  and I can pay a few bucks for books at the bookstore, like New Rules of Lifting or something like that.    And yes, I've gotten a few online programs. Usually when said person has a sale, and things are 50% off.  Helps justify the cost a little.  And yes, they are good programs, but right now, with my work schedule, just not something I can do.   So until I can manage to workout for 90 mins 5 days a week, I kind of wasted me money, Sigh.

So I just need to get into really good shape, and then put some programs out there on the internet and charge and arm and leg for them, and roll in the money lol.  Yep, that's the plan.  Get into awesome shape, or learn how to really do great photoshop lol, and charge like $100 for a program lol.   Sure, that will work lol.

Picked up a new palette yesterday. 

I  really liked the colors, and you can use them wet or dry which is nice.  I'll be using this one over the weekend.   I'll let you all know how it is.

I think I'll be slowing down on the buying a little bit.  Mainly cause well, there isn't all that much coming out I really want.   How many neutral palettes do I need?  I saw some sneak peeks at stuff coming out and well, I was a bit  "eh"   Literally I was like, I've see it, I've got it.    So well, I'll just try to use up what I've already got.  And trust me, I've got A LOT!

Show me the FOOOD!!!

So, I've decided to do something.   After years of off and on weight training, doing just enough to keep from losing muscle mass I've decided to do something about it.  I'm in my late 40s.  At my age, I'm starting to lose muscle.  Now, I don't know about you, but I like muscle.  That's what will keep me getting up off the toilet by myself when I'm 90.  That's what burns a lot of calories that I like to eat.  That's what give arms that nice shape, and will eventually make my butt look great.     And I don't want to lose this muscle.  

So, here's what I'm going to do.  I'm going on a bulk.  Ok, I can hear you now.  What the "F" is a bulk?   Its where you eat above your calories that you need to maintain your body weight.   And you lift a lot of heavy weights.   You put on muscle cause with the extra calories, and lifting heavy weights, a lot of heavy weights, you build muscle.  Ok so I'll probably put on a little fat a long with the muscle.  That's just one of the side effects.

I'm going to go slow.  Not go over by much, and try to keep my foods as healthy as I can.   That will help keep the level of fat that I gain as low as possible,

Then after a few months, you cut back on calories, and start burning off the fat.  And it might be a little easier cause with the extra muscle, you have more fat burning capacity.    Or that's what I'm hoping lol.    Build some muscle and it will help burn off the fat without having to do a major cut of calories. 

I've been getting some makeup and stuff.  Of course I have lol.  Ordered some stuff from Sephora during the Rouge sale.  And tomorrow I'm planning on going to Sephora and picking up the Huda palette.  I hope it is there.   I'd love to get a Natasha Denona palette but WOW.  They are expensive.  Maybe for my birthday.   I think that's a great birthday present to myself.

Hitting Des Moines tomorrow. Have a follow up with the dietician I saw.  I'm going to have her help me with my calorie goals for my bulk.  Then I'm going to see if I can find a bra, cause mine are getting old, and then Costco time.   If I'm going to be eating a little more food, I need to stock up some.  And we also need pet food and stuff. 

I hope all is great with you.

I didn't want to, but I did a workout

I was tired, I didn't feel like it. I really just wanted to sit on my butt and do nothing.  But I made myself get up, get my workout clothes on, and went into my gym and get my workout on.
I lifted on my own, doing a program I'm going to be doing for a while.  I'll be using my videos for cardio.  I'll do some sprints on my treadmill after weights 1 day a week, plus just walking to get my ass up out of the chair from time to time.  But the main portion of the cardio will be via either streaming or one of my dvds.

Oh, I'd better show you what program I'm going to be doing:

Its a year long so it will take me a while to get through it.  I will have to sub a few moves cause I don't have a full gym setup.  I do someday want a leg press machine, but well, I doubt I'll get one lol. They are pretty big.

I'm shopping on Sephora, imagine that lol.  Its the VIP Rouge sale, so I'll get the stuff I'm ordering a little cheaper, which is great.  So I'm going to try out a couple things.  Hope I like it.   Look for a video soon.

What else is going on in my world.  I guess not all that much.  Work has been ok.   Been working on getting rid of my belly.  Of course then Easter came lol.  But really one day isn't going to make or break me.   And I've been lifting heavy, building that muscle to help eat up calories.

Well, just placed my Sephora order.  Can't wait to try it out.  I'm going to also replace an empty powder foundation and brush from Alima. They have great powder foundations.  Better than Bare Minerals, I think.  More shades too.

That's about all for today.  I've got tomorrow off and I can't wait!

Going back to video workouts for a while

So I've been lifting heavy for a while.  Started back in Dec, and cont since I've gotten my sweet home gym set up.   
Well, I've been feeling a little burnt out and not quite as motivated, so I decided to cut back and go back to using some of my fitness dvds I've got.  And a streaming service I've used before and LOVED.    I resigned up for the Cathe on Demand service and did a workout from there tonight.  Strong and Sweaty Total Body Giant Sets.  OMG!  It kicked my butt.  I kind of forgot how great Cathe workouts are.   I'm going to pick out a pure cardio on for tomorrow.  Maybe a nice step workout. Been probably over a year since I did a pure step workout.  Might be nice for a change.

I think I'll do these for a couple weeks, then lift heavy for a while. Maybe switching  back and forth for a while will be what I need to push me in the right direction. Or at least keep me from getting bored.  I tend to get bored pretty easy in my workouts.  Been that way for a while lol.  Its while I have yet to actually finish a workout rotation.   I get bored looking at the same people, doing the same crap every day.    I'd love to finish a Body Beast rotation, or Cathe's STS rotation.  I think I might set a goal to do 6 weeks of each this summer. 

I'm trying to decide if I want to buy something new on Wed, or hold off.   I've got a couple things from Sephora I'd like to get, but well, I'm just not sure. I've got things I want to buy for fitness stuff.  Decisions decisions.  Guess I'll decide on Wed when I'm up in Des Moines.

Kind of a short blog today.  Oh well, better than nothing.

So, I did a thing

I decided to do something.  I'm getting my metabolism tested, my body fat measured, and getting a nutrition assessment.  I found a certified nutritionist who does all this.  Going to cost a few dollars, but I think in the end, it will be good for me to really see where I am starting from, and how to get where I want to go.   She bases your assessment on what your goals are. And mine are to get stronger, gain muscle while slowly losing some body fat.   So I hope she can help at least point me in the right direction of what I need to do to get there.  I go next Wed, and I think I'll vlog at least part of my trip and tell you all about it.

I reviewed a new to me product yesterday.  The Mary Kay CC Cream.  I really liked it.  I tend to use more BB, CC and tinted moisturizers in the spring and summer.  I like this one.   I think I will be picking it up soon.

I also have ordered a few new skin care products.  Been hearing a lot from a skin care line called  The Ordinary.  Good products at affordable prices.  Watched a couple reviews, and I decided to give a few products a try.    The same company also has two other lines that have increasing prices, but also have combo products. Products that have 2-3 active ingredients in rather than just one.  If I like the Ordinary, I might try out one or two of these lines out too.

Getting ready to go to work today. Its my weekend.  So of course the sun is out, its really nice outside, and I have to go to work, lol.   Maybe I'll get lucky and I'll get call.  I'd rather get call on Sun, but whatever.

Got a new book I'm going to start reading.  The Squat Bible.  I hope to use the info to improve my squat and my mobility in my ankles and hips.  I could use a lot of help there.

I also need to get to doing more stretching.  I've been lacking and slacking on stretching.   So maybe I need to get a book or something to help me on stretches.   I really need to get back to stretching out after my workouts.

I've been really thinking of my workouts and what I want to do. I think I've decided to lift weights 2-3 days a week, and one day a week do a Crossfit style workout.   And do some cardio on my pure lifting days.  Like tabatas or HITT style cardio.  Quick and not so easy lol.

Well, that's about all I have to say for today.  I hope you all have a great day!

To buy or not to buy ACK!!!

So, I've been trying to hold off on getting new makeup.   Its not going so well lol.  Both Colourpop and Violet Voss have released new eye shadows that I want.   The Colourpop ones are very bright and springy colors.  They are so pretty!  Yellows, pinks, omg they are so pretty!   The Violet Voss ones are browns and mattes.   I love the formulation of Violet Voss palettes.  I might as well just face it, I'll get them both. I've decided not to get ALL the Colourpop shadows.  I have a few that are very close to what I've got.  So I'm only going to get a few of them.   I will get the VV palette.   I love their formulations.   They are some of my most reached for palettes.

I have been slowly saving up money.  I think my next purchase will be an Assault bike.   Looks like something I could use.   I need to get my cardio capacity back up where it use to be.  I use to be in fairly decent cardio shape.  Not anymore.  I've really let it go downhill really bad.   So along with lifting weights, I'm going to do some cardio.  I need to.  Not for weight loss, but for my heart health.

Not doing to much right now.  Enjoying the sunshine today.  We've had like 5 inches of rain in the last 2 weeks, and no sunshine.  It was really kind of dreary.  But the sun is out today.   And of course, its going to be really nice and warm over the weekend, when I have to work.

I enjoy my job as a nurse, but man, there are times it would be nice to not have to work.  Or to be able to really cut down work, 1-2 days a week.  That's what I'd like to work. 1-2 days a week.   Enough to have the enjoyment of work, enjoy taking care of people, while not having it turn into a drudgery that it sometimes turns into.  Esp that third night in a row.  It turns into a chore.   I get a little over tired, I get a little grumpy, and to be honest, I start not caring as much as I should.  Esp the people who obviously don't care about themselves.   If you drink yourself into a stupor so bad you need to be in the ICU to recover, you don't care about yourself.   Or if you don't follow medical advice, eat foods that go against your medical condition, you don't care about yourself.    It does make it a little hard for me to care about your health.  Oh, I'll do everything in my power to do the best job I can to take care of you.  But let me tell you, its hard.

That's about it for me today.  Kind of a ramble, wasn't it lol.

Ok, so back at the healthy stuff

I did a quick 10 min workout today.  Just a quick circuit workout.  I just wanted to get the blood pumping and move around a little bit.  I tend to be a little lazy on any Sundays I have off lol.  Hey its NASCAR season, and well, I'm not Catholic so I don't get a workout in at church.  We tend to mostly sit during church service. 

Speaking of church I wish the weather would straighten up.  I have some killer high heels I want to wear, but I'm not going to wear them when its rainy or cold.  I'm ready for warm  weather.  I want to wear sandals and paint my toenails every week cause people will actually see them.  But Mother Nature things we need cool rainy weather for 2 weeks. I'm sick of it.

I've got ideas of things to eat this week.  I need to get back to more veggies along with meats.  I use to bake broccoli, sweet potatoes, have a large salad.  Kind of gotten away from all that.  I need to get back to it.  I felt good, I lost weight and quite frankly I think my skin and nails looked great, and my workout rocked.  So well, back to it.   Told hubby, who does 99.9% of the cooking, that this is what I want to do. 

Got a few things that will be delivered this week.  I've got a wall ball ordered.  Here's what one looks like: 

Basically, you take it and squat down, and throw it up as you stand up.   My ceiling isn't quite high enough for a true wall ball, but that' why I ordered the heavier one.  I'll make up for the less height by using a heavier weight.

I've also got a book called "the Squat Bible"  I hope it helps me get my squats better.  Plus a little makeup. Nothing much.  A blush that looks like it will really be a great fit.  Also some supplements for my weight lifting.  I'm running low so I might as well stock up now.

I have to go back to work tomorrow. UGH!  Oh, I enjoy being a nurse, but there are aspects of the job I don't like.  I don't like the feeling that I care more about their health than most of my patients do.  Its hard.  Hard to give them meds, encourage them to walk.  And know they will go right back out and eat fast food, smoke, drink to excess and sit way to much. Heck sometimes family bring in fast food before they even leave.  I do get tired of that.   And all the crap management always wants us to do all the time.  Come on people, I will not go to a meeting on my day off at 10am when I'm sleeping.  Nope, not going to happen.  You want a night shifter to come to a meeting, make it be at midnight.

Well, I'm hungry now, so I guess I should go find something that's not to unhealthy for me to eat lol.  Maybe a nice protein shake and something else.

I got new toys today!!!

So, a guy I know, named Nathan, he has a garage gym I can only DREAM OF!  OMG!  He's got it all.  I would love to have such a garage gym.  Mine is nice, his could be a gym people pay to use.  Well, he's replacing some of his plate weights with bumper plates, and was selling off the plate weights he has.  I got 2 45lbs plates, 2 35lbs plates, and 2 25 lb plates.  Now I already had such plates, but now I've got more. I don't have to put on and take off for my lat pulldowns.  I will have enough to really work my deadlift up to over 300lbs eventually.  I have new toys for my gym!!  I can't wait to put them to use this weekend!

I've been enjoying not counting calories, macros, etc.   I've eaten ice cream, popcorn, and the like.  But I've also enjoyed some salads, some protein shakes, and other healthy for you foods.   Once Sunday comes around, I'll get back on track.  I think I just needed time off to enjoy and not obsess.  I sometimes get a little  worked up over what I'm eating or not eating.   I think maybe every 3 months or so, I need to just give myself a week to eat whatever I want without counting.

I am also going to slow down on makeup buying for a couple weeks.   Right now, there is nothing out there that I just can't live without.  And I have got a lot of new stuff I need to really dive into, and I want to rediscover stuff I've got but not used for a while.  So I'll be filming some reviews of stuff I have.

Work has been going ok here lately.  Oh I'm still trying to decide what to do.  There is a part of me that wants to stay there.   I like my fellow co-workers quite a bit.  But the drive is a little bit of a drag.  And working closer to home would mean that I could go to church choir practice a lot more often and I could go to church more often too.   I think that having more time at home would be a good thing for me.  It would be an extra 80 mins at home.  I could do a quick workout before work, have a nice shower, then have a few extra mins to spend with Ron.    I've been thinking/praying about this for about 2 weeks.  So far, all I can say is that I wish I was like Moses and had a big burning bush in my yard for God to tell me what he wants me to do.   That would make it so much easier.

Oh things to think about. 

Taking a week off from eating right

I decided today to just take a few days off from eating healthy and tracking my food.   I just need a break.  I've been a little stressed out at work, nothing bad, but a little.  And to be honest, I don't need to worry about any more right now than I already am.   And I've been cheating more than I need to.  So you know what, I'm going to give myself a few day of letting myself eat what I want, then get back into eating right later this week.   Maybe I just need to have a reset.  Maybe eating 2500 calories a day will reset me and then when I go back down to 1800 calories a day I can get back to losing weight.

I've also decided to take a break from heavy lifting for this week.  I'll get back to heavy weights on April 1, and this is no joke lol.  Its a deload week.   I'll do some video workouts, maybe dig out my old Firm workouts this week.  Again, shock my body for a week, then get back to lifting heavy again.

I got put on call today thank God!  It would have been overtime for me, but that's ok. I don't mind missing out on overtime.  Amazing how if I trade or pick up some hours for a co-worker and get a couple hours of overtime its a HUGE ASS SIN!  But if management schedules me for overtime cause either she does a crappy ass job of making the schedule, or they need to hire more nurses, its just fine!  I'm scheduled for more overtime next week, but I might get call tomorrow as well which would get rid of that, so here's hoping I get call tomorrow.  Esp since this is NOT my weekend to work, but when does that matter anymore.  Doesn't seem to.  I've got co-workers who are literally working parts of every weekend.  That's not right at all.  Either figure that shit out, hire more nurses or get out of your office and work a shift here and there before all your nurses get burnt out and think about leaving.

I've ordered and bought a lot of new makeup. I hope to review some of it here really soon.  I've not filmed in over 2 weeks, and need to get back to it. I hope maybe tomorrow I can shoot a quick video.   Between being busy and having kids home on Spring break, I've just not been at the camera.   I miss it, so maybe I'll get my stuff set up, and I'll get back to filming this week.

Its been dreary this weekend so far.  We need the rain we've been getting, so that's a good thing, but I kind of want to get to walking outside a couple days a week.  I need to get fresh air, and some sunshine.  

So that's what's been going on with me.  I'll post more later.

Damn you Dari Sweet lol

Well, the local ice cream shop opened yesterday.  I was good, and didn't get any yesterday.  Got some today.  It was so totally yummie, but so not healthy for me.  I need to make sure my Dari Sweet trips are no more than once a week, and even less than that.  Once every 10 days would be better.

I got some of my stuff I ordered today.  Such pretty colors.  Here's what I got from BH Cosmetics:

I wanted bright colors. Spring is coming or here I guess, and I want bright colors.

Started a new project.  I'm cataloging my makeup.  This will take a while lol.  I got all my Colourpop written down.  That is until I order more cause they are coming out with new colors and well, I want them lol.  I'm trying to be good and not just order everything, but well, I do really like Colourpop's pressed shadows. 

I'm also looking at shoes.  I love love love my Dansko clogs for work. Have way to many pair.  NO SUCH THING AS TO MANY SHOES, but I do have A LOT of shoes.  So I'm looking at Dansko sandals.  If they are half as comfy as my clogs, I could wear them for hours and be great.

Back to work tomorrow. Still thinking and praying over if I should apply for the different job.  The hours not spent driving back and forth from work would be great. More time at home, more time to sleep. More time to workout.  Decisions decisions.

Finally slept fairly well last night. I've been having trouble sleeping the last few nights. Finally I managed to fall asleep in less than an hour, and not wake up 3-4 times a night.   It felt good to sleep.

I set up a second savings account to save for new exercise equipment.  Doesn't have much in it right now, but if I can put $100-150 in out of every paycheck, it won't take long to save up for new stuff.  Plates, or a second barbell.   And of course  a Airdyne bike and Concept2 rower!  I will have them by the end of this year!

My way of eating, what a mess

So I was doing a higher protein way of eating in Jan. Oh, nothing way super high, but higher.   It was going ok, although I was having trouble getting enough protein, but I was getting close everyday.

Well, in Feb I thought I would try a little less protein and a little more carbs.  Not a good idea.   Yes, it was much easier to get the lesser amount  of protein cause carbs are everywhere, but well, my body just went  "thank you, I'll put this right here, in your belly fat."  UGH!

So, back to the higher protein.  Ok, its not actually high protein.  I eat 40% of my diet as carbs, 40% of protein, and 20% as fat.  Of course, my diet fluctuates a little day to day, but that's what I aim to hit or come close to.  It just works for me at this point.  I also think I might try lowering my calories just slightly, 100-150 calories a day for a mini cut.  What a cut is, is dieting down a to get rid of fat while maintaining muscle.  Then I think when summer is almost over, I'll up my calories by 200-300 a day to bulk, which is eating more and trying to put on muscle.  Ok I'll admit, I'm really looking forward to that lol

Now I need to pick out a good program. So many weight lifting programs out there I just can't manage to decide.   Bodybuilding.com has about 1000 programs, I've got about 30 books with great programs, and the internet is packed full off all sorts of programs.  I'm leaning towards a Jim Stoppani program, or an Ashley Horner program.  But then I've got one that I can decide to do 5days a week, 4 days or 3 days a week.

So today, after I got my hair done, I picked up some higher protein foods.  Meats, Greek yogurt, that sort of stuff.  And back to really tracking my foods cause I've slacked off the last couple days.  Mainly cause what we ate was home cooked foods and I was to lazy to try and track each ingredient lol. 

Been working on moving all my clothes, shoes, makeup etc into my "dressing room"  I hope to get it at least 99% done tomorrow.  Except maybe my sandals that are in storage right now.  Maybe I'll get them moved, maybe I'll wait until next month.

I ordered a couple more palettes.  Its been 2 whole weeks since I got any makeup. Actually just over 2 weeks, so that's pretty good.   A couple BH Cosmetics palettes and one new thing from Colourpop. 

I also might get some new shoes.  Cause I don't have enough lol!  So back to online shopping I go! Ta Ta

Backsliding a little, this needs to stop!

So over the last couple weeks, I've backslid a little bit in my fitness.  Oh, I've done some good workouts, but you can't out-exercise a bad diet.  Ok, I guess if you run a marathon everyday, maybe, but I'm not running a marathon everyday.

I've been tracking my food, or at least part of it.  I do great in the morning.  And things go downhill from then.   I just need to remember why I'm doing this.   I need to tell myself that I CAN have any food I want, but I want a fit body more. 

So its time to refocus and get back on track. I've actually done well so far this year.  Just need to get back on the wagon before this slip up becomes a total clusterfuck.

I need to decide what workout program I want to do.  I've got about 100.  And I'm not kidding lol. Between programs I've found on Bodybuilding.com all the New Rules of Lifting books, and programs I've picked up over the years, I've got about 100.    How do you pick?  I'm not ever sure hoe you pick.  Maybe I just need to pick on, and do it for 6-8 weeks, the judge how things are going.

I've also decided to start logging all my makeup. I want to write down what I've got, how I like it, if it wore ok, that sort of thing.  It will help me prevent buying duplicates, and help me figure out what I really like, and want to keep.

We've also started moving my clothes and shoes into what will be my "dressing room"  Its the room where I use to have my home gym.  Now I'm going to have my clothes, shoes and makeup there. And I'll probably film my You Tube videos.   It will take a few more days to get it all done, cause I'm going back to work tomorrow. I don't want to.  Kind of want to get this all done and over with.   Or at least done then I can arrange everything how I want it.  I'd be ok with that lol.

So that's what's been going on with me. Hope things are great for you.