So I sure suck at this losing weight thing

I filmed a video about it if anyone cares.   Its basically an invitation to watch me as I meander around the weigh loss journey.  Right now I feel like I'm stuck in a ditch lol.   And run over lol.  But really, I'm going to start filming things on my journey, like workouts, eating, me bitching that losing weight is hard.  I'd love to have a few people give me thumbs up or comments.   I need some support, or more support.  Cause this weight loss stuff is hard.  More mentally hard, but hard.

After spending a couple days, ok mostly spending time at night after everyone else goes to bed and I'm alone in the world, I've decided,  I'm making it to hard.  I'm trying to follow this type of eating, or that type of eating.  I just need to be really simple.  I'm just going to count calories for a while and not worry about macros, etc.   I'm going to get my calories at 2000 and just see what that does.  Ok, I'm going to make sure I'm getting at least 110gms of protein. Only cause I know I need protein to build muscle. But otherwise, just 2000 calories and just let it be.  And maybe after I'm feeling settled in my new job, and  things feel better overall, I'll worry about macros, and all that jazz.   I just think I'm trying to over think stuff, then feel overwhelmed, and then just get into a "screw it I'll eat ice cream"

I also can't wait until I get back to 8 hour shifts so I can workout more often.  I got new running shoes, cause I'm going to get back into running.  Here's a picture.

That's my boxer Phoenix in the background.  They are Hoka shoes.  The heels are a little different but they help roll you into the next step.  And I need all the help I can get.  The arch is a little higher than I'm use to so I need to wear them a little and get my feet ready for my first attempt at running.

Now I've been also overthinking workouts.  So I think I'm going to do something like upper body one day, lower body one day, a Crossfit style workout one day and cardio one to two days a week.  I think this combo will help build a little muscle, or if nothing else maintain what I've got, while helping improve my pathetic pathetic pathetic cardio capacity.

While I'm excited about starting a new job, having 8 hour shifts, being only 3 minutes away from my job, I'm really going to miss the hospital work.  Its been for the most part, enjoyable.  Oh, there crap about it I don't like, but its that way in every job ever.   I'm staying PRN there, and kind of hope if things ever work out, I could maybe just work part-time like 1-2 days, err, nights a week.    I'd love to be able to work just part-time and spend more time at home with my hubby.    But we've got 2 kids going to collage, and we're helping them out.  Oh, if we totally cut way back on stuff, we could probably do it. But I enjoy not sweating to death cause I can keep the air on.  And buying makeup here and there.  And having more tv channels, and super fast internet.  And the occasional new video game, or pair of workout shoes.  

I really need to go through my closet, and stuff and do a major decluttering.  I've got a bunch of books I could donate to the library, magazines to throw away or donate, other stuff I need to just get rid of.  I keep thinking I'm going to do that, and then I don't. I just need to get it done.

I hope everyone is doing great!