Well that sucked

So, I worked 4 12hr night shifts in a row, ok, I managed.  My last night was Christmas eve into Christmas morning.  I didn't sleep as much as I wanted cause most of the family was over, and I wanted to spend a little time with them. Of course I was tired, and a little grumpy cause being more of an introvert, I need alone time to recharge.
The day after Christmas, I was put on call,  which was amazing! One night off after 4 in a row is NOT enough.  Then sadly, I got called into work 1 hours later. UGH!  I was a little grumpy when I first got there.  We had just sat down to watch Bird Box, and 15 mins into the movie, the phone rings, and I have to go to work. UGH!

And I found out, that a nurse I liked working with, a very good nurse, quit.  There were problems with schedules, kids, but management didn't really do as much as they could have to help her out, so she got a different job, and left.  They lost a really good nurse.   I will miss her. 

Then there is Odin lol

  

He looks so sweet in this pic,

But he's really a little stinkier lol.  Housebreaking isn't going quite as well as I wish.  Its not horrid, but the weather has been rainy and crappy and no one wants to go outside to go potty.

But I think I'll keep him cause well look at that face!!!

Giving myself a few days to rest up and relax.  I'm thinking of the goals I'm gonna make for 2019.  I've got a couple, and I'll let you all know what I decide with my next blog.

Been in a funk lately.

And I mean a FUNK.  I've not wanted to do much of anything.   I've not blogged for a long time, I've even cut back on my YouTube videos.  I just don't know why.  I know some of it is winter is here and I hate winter, and I hate the lack of sunshine.  But some of it is other things.  I'm not feeling as satisfied at work thanks to management. We have had a HUGE turnover in the last  several months so what does that tell you?

And speaking of YouTube, my viewership is down. That freaking SUCKS ass.  I just don't know what to do to get my viewership up.  It makes me sad.  I want my channel to have at least a little success, and I'm doing backwards.  I just don't know.  I'm feeling a little discouraged with it.  I'd be ok if my videos were getting the same amount of views there were, but I'm getting 10 fewer views or even less, than I was back earlier this summer.   You can see how that would discourage a person. 

I guess my other big news is my new puppy.  Odin, a beagle puppy.  Here's a picture I saw at the breaders that helped me decide to get him.
 

I have a YouTube video introducing him.  Here it is.
Meet Odin
Hope you enjoy it. 

I've also manged to lose5lbs here in the last couple weeks.  Considering I went up 6lbs, I'm happy to get rid of 5.  I'm feeling ok about it.  I'm starting to see the scale going down, and my bras are feeling better, so that's a very nice thing.  Esp this time of year when everyone brings cookies, candies, etc to the nurses station. Really people can you maybe bring some fruit or something?

I think in the new year, I'm going to get back to bullet journaling.  I did it a little bit last year, but slacked way off.   I think it really did help me track fitness, mood,  eating all that stuff.  I'm going to check out bullet journal videos and figure out what  I want to track.

Guess that's all for now.  Maybe I'll be blogging more since my funk is some better.

Sh!t or get off the pot

Ok, I've been over and over this subject for a long time.  And its f*cking time I do it.  As it is said, sh!t or get off the pot.  I either need to get my ass up, moving, lifting, and eating healthy or just forget it for a while.  I would rather just get this going, do it, and get into better shape. 

I'm not sure why I'm having so much trouble getting myself back onto the healthy living wagon.  I mean I WANT to get healthier and get myself into better shape, but I just can't quite do it for more than a couple days in a row.

UGH! Why is it so hard lol.  I use to be in really good shape.  Like 40lbs less of me.  Felt good. Had so much more stamina, more energy. Then I just let myself go.

Well NO MORE!  Ok, I need to get through this weekend cause I'm away for a NASCAR weekend,but I've got my plan in order for the next week. I'm going to get myself back on a healthier path.  Baby steps to be sure, but steps none the less.   I'm going to workout 2-3 times a week for a month just to get myself back into workouts.   I'm going to lift HEAVY!  I've got myself a new log book for logging my workouts;

Isn't it well, interesting lol.  All mine.  I make it myself from Journal Menu.   You can design all kinds of workout journals.  For lifting, Crossfit, competitions. All kinds.  And make the cover you want.
I wanted one as interesting as I am lol.

And now, I'm going to be filling this with all sorts of PRs.  I'm  inspired by ladies like this
Old Lady Powerlifter
I hope to be lifting heavy like her when I'm her age.  She don't need help getting off the toilet, does she.

NO EXCUSES!!!! Just do it

So, I did get new workout shoes today.  I think they will be really good for my workouts. 

Yep, went to the Under Armour outlet store.  I tried these on, and they feel very lightweight, cushiony, and I might even try a little, very little, running in these.  And those metabolic workouts I was talking about.   I need to get this done.  Funny, I quote Nike when I bought Under Armour, but hey I got 2 pair of Nikes a few weeks ago, so its all good lol.

I was very good and didn't buy any makeup, even though I had stuff in my hands but I put it back.  I need to really use what I've got already.  I have SOOOOO much stuff I'll never get it all used up lol.  Oh well.

So, it starts tomorrow.  Yep.  It starts tomorrow.  My body will get stronger and better starting tomorrow.

This is a quick blog.  But I will leave you with this thought

This is as much for me as it is for you lol

I need to do more cardio, GASPS FOR BREATH

Had a code at the hospital the other night.  OMG!  CPR is HARD!  Thankfully we only had to do manual chest compressions for a few min before the Lucas device was put on.  That's literally a machine that does the chest compressions on the person.
This is what it looks like.

So, cause I work at a small hospital one where the pharmacy isn't open 24hrs,  I had to run to grab meds that we were running out of in the crash cart.  So I literally RAN to the pharmacy, grabbed the med, and ran back.  And then gasped for breath for a couple mins.

So I need to do more cardio so I can be a better nurse for my patients.  I need to lose weight so I can be a better nurse for my patients.  I just need to do it.

So, I'm going to be doing more metabolic style workouts. Workouts that combine weights and cardio to get that heart rate up.  I'm going to be doing a day or two of cardio to increase my cardio capacity.  I'm going to keep weight training cause I need to be strong and its good for my bones and heart. 

So now I need to look through my workouts, and the Cathe on Demand streaming I subscribe to, and get some workouts picked out.   She's got some really great cardio workouts.  If I did cardio 1-2 days a week and lifting 3 days a week, that would be a good blend.   I hope so.

And of course, eating.  I need to quit eating like crap. Period.  I can't out-exercise a bad diet.  Why is that so hard to do?  I mean I know it.  I really do. But I just can't seem to get myself away from the crappy food.  Not even making sure I have a treat everyday.  UGH.

Oh well.  I'm going to go destress in the bathtub with a bathbomb, give myself a sheet mask and go to bed. Hubby and I are going to Des Moines tomorrow.  Hitting the outlet mall..  Might get myself a new pair of workout shoes cause 3 pair isn't enough and maybe new pants cause 25 pair isn't enough lol.  If I do, I'll put up pictures lol

Getting back to workouts

I've been a slug for the last few weeks. UGH!  Gained back 2lbs of the 5 I lost this summer.  Yes, most of it is bloating.  But still.  Hard to see the scale go up.

So I got up off my butt and did this today.

I got it done.  It wasn't pretty but I got it done.   I turned on my FitBit Blaze to track my workout, but then I freaking forgot to turn it off for like an hour after.  Stupid!  So it looks like I worked out for like almost 2hrs lol.    Oh well.  

I had thought about going to Des Moines and hitting the Outlet mall in Altoona, and getting new workout clothes, and such.  I need them almost as much as I need more makeup, but something about new workout clothes makes me slightly more motivated.  Even though I workout alone in my own home gym, I like looking good.  Or as good as I can when I'm still very pudgy.


What else to say.  I don't know.  I guess I don't have much else to say right now.  Feeling kind of blah but I think getting up and working out again will help a little bit with that.

I think it will be time for a hot bath and a sheet mask in a little bit.  Maybe I should get ready for that.
Later

My new laptop!! Isn't she pretty

Is she not pretty?  I think so.  And best thing, she's fast, and I'll be able to play my games on her.  Yes, my laptop is a girl.  My last one died.  She just died.  I was saving a YouTube video I had gotten edited, and the screen went blank and she turned off and that was it.   So I had to buy a new one.  This is very close to my old one, only 5 years newer and with more space and RAM.   So she's fast.

Now comes the downloading of all my games on her.

My foot is still sore, but better.  I hope it gets even better cause its my weekend to work and I'd rather not work with a sore foot.  At least nothing is broken.  Probably pulled a tendon or ligament or something.  I don't know but having a sore foot sucks big time.

Hubby and I are going to start really trying to get into better shape starting in Oct.  I'm not sure what I want to do quite yet.  I alternate between wanting to do my videos and wanting to lift heavy.  I think I'll start with lifting videos, break myself back in cause I've totally slacked off for like 3 weeks, and then maybe in Nov start lifting heavy again.  Either way, as long as hubby will actually try and not bring in a bunch of crap food, and encourage me to workout, it will be good.

Not much else today.  Just playing around with my new laptop and getting it set up.

Off to play games.

OUCH! My foot hurts!

This sucks.  The ball of my left foot hurts.  Started hurting early Fri morning at work.  Made the last couple hours of work kind of, well, suck.  Then it hurt Fri night into Sat morning, which made work, well, suck!   Nothing like walking around the hospital with a sore foot.  Right where you walk too. 
Rested the rest of Sat, and Sun. Felt a little better Sun so I thought it might be getting better, but NO.  That area on the ball of my left foot just hurts.  Kind of in the middle of the ball of my foot.  Right where I roll off.  UGH!   I hope it magically is better my tomorrow night cause I need to work tomorrow.

I filmed an anti-haul and got it up on my channel the other day.  No, I don't just buy all the makeup out there lol.  Here's a link
Anti-Haul #4

What else.  I put off going to Des Moines shopping to day cause my foot hurts and cause I slept like crap last night.  I hope I sleep better today.  I'm gonna take some anti-inflammatory meds tonight. Some Advil might make it a little better.  Can't make it worse at this point.  If its not better, I'm gonna have to get it looked at.

The pain in my foot has also kind of slowed up my workouts. Hard to do any kind of cardio when your foot freaking hurts.  And leg day is out cause I kind of need to use my foot for that.  I need this to get better fast.

Back to playing Skyrim lol.  On my PS4 cause my laptop is not 100% anymore.  It will randomly restart.  Very annoying.   I just need to get a new laptop really soon.  I've just about got saved up what I need for the laptop I'm looking at.  Probably in Oct. I'm gonna be transferring stuff from my old on onto a brand new gaming laptop.   That's gonna be nice.

My no sugar challenge has been a dud.  Just not into it I guess.  I need to get at least 10lbs more off my body by the end of the year.  I'll just feel better about myself.  I just need to crack down, and stay in my calorie range, while making sure I get that protein in.  And get some workouts in as well.  I just need to get it done.

Not to much else going on.  Lots of whining about my foot in this one lol.  Oh well.

New Nikes!

Yep, went to the Nike outlet yesterday and got 2 pair for less than I would have gotten one pair.  AWESOME!
I got these.

Which I will probably wear to work. I tend to keep my work shoes only for work.

And then I got these.

Which will be yet another pair of everyday shoes lol.  There was a pair of Nike Metcons which I really wanted, but dang it, they didn't have my size.  Just needed a 1/2 size bigger and I would have had a new pair to workout in.  Alas.  Maybe next time.

I've been trying to do a low buy for makeup this month.  I've done good, when comparing how much I got in July and Aug.   If you want to see, here is the link for the Haul videos I put up on my YouTube channel.
Haul Videos
I've gotten less makeup and was TOTALLY good yesterday and didn't even stop in Ulta or Sephora even though I really wanted to.

I've got so much stuff I need to review first.  Palettes, foundations, primers, etc.  In fact, I need to edit a video, and then make a new rant video today and get it edited.  UGH! And go to work this week and get to 2 appointments this week. Wish I didn't have to work. 

Man, if I could just not ever have to work, and make YouTube videos, blog and play with makeup for a living, that would be so nice.  Maybe someday I can retire or at least cut down to part time, and do a lot more of what I enjoy that would be nice.  I'll keep plugging away and maybe sometime I can do just that.

Until next time.

Going shopping tomorrow

Yep, hubby and I are hitting the "city" of Des Moines tomorrow.  Time to get a few things at Costco, Whole Foods, maybe wander around the mall some.  Oh, and I'm hitting the Nike outlet there cause I "need" new shoes lol.   Nike are so comfy to wear for work, so why not get another pair, cause I will literally wear a different pair every night I go in.  My feet bother me less when I do that.  Like I'll wear my Nikes one night, my Danskos another, and then Brooks or something the next.  My feet are happier, and I'm happier.

I'm probably going to be painting my nails here soon. Been really enjoying KL Polish here.  This is my favorite color (so far)

Princess Penny.  So pretty!  I'll probably end up getting the new fall collection when its out. Maybe it is. I'm not so sure.  Now I need to go check and see if they are out lol. 

Not to much else to write today.   Been testing out makeup.  I need to get back to reviewing it here a little more.  Review here what I can't get around to making videos for my YouTube channel for.  Ideas!!

I need this like I need a hole in my head

But I want this so bad.  But its so freaking expensive.  But I want it so bad. UGH!  Why have I not won the lottery?

If I did get this, it would be the only thing I could get for a couple week. Cause this palette is $125.  Yes, $125.  I need to either become a big blogger and YouTuber making a nice chunk of change from my blogs and videos, or win the lottery lol.  Just keep going and maybe someday I will get a check from YouTube or my blog.  Like in 3 years lol.  Oh, maybe 2 and a half lol.

My low sugar challenge is not going well.  I need to crack down on myself and just say NO.  I'll do better tomorrow.  I need to. My waist line says I need to.

Next week, I'm going to go back to heavy weight lifting.  I'm missing it way so much, and well, I'm a firm believer in doing the physical activity you enjoy, and lifting heavy things up and down makes me happy.  And it can boost my metabolism and help me burn off some body fat, so its all good, right?

I have only one more day off before I work the weekend. UGH!  I'm already dreading it.  That's kind of say.  Dreading work when its still like 2 nights away.   Oh well, this to shall pass. I'm sure it will be good after I get there.  Just the thought of what it could be. Which could be crap.

I guess that's all for today.  Not to much else to say, other than enjoy your days off when you get them people!

Decluttering is good for the soul.

Yep, I've started to declutter. Makeup for now, but I did take a bag full of older clothes I don't want, won't wear, or can't fit into anymore, to the local donation place. And some used makeup.  Felt good.

Pretty soon, I'll go through shoes, and maybe more clothes and get rid of more.  I need to thin out my nail polish collection.  Its HUGE and a few have gone bad.  I did the thinning down thing once but I think one time is enough.  More than that, and it doesn't seem like they do nearly as well.

If you are interested here's a play list of my declutters I've filmed for YouTube.
Decluttering

Doing a low sugar challenge in Sept.  Did great the first day.  Today, hubby "treated" me to Reece's Pieces and UGH I didn't really want them, but ate them anyway.  Tomorrow I'll do better. I need to.  I feel better when I'm not eating as much sugar. I can lose weight easier, my skin looks better.  So, well,  I need to ensure hubby knows I'm really wanting to do this.  In times past, he almost gets a little irritable when I try to eat healthy, or do low sugar, etc.   Like me trying to get healthier is doing something to him???  Whatever.

Gotta get back into lifting tomorrow as well.  I think for this month, I'm going to loosely follow a  program.  Kind of an upper body/lower body split. Ease myself into it a little bit.   Then in Oct, start hitting it harder again.

I've managed to gain a few subs on my YouTube channel. Good!  I hope my channel keeps growing and getting better.  I like making my videos, and I just want to keep making content I enjoy, and people enjoy watching.

I think this week I'll do more decluttering.  Maybe a few books and such.  I've got a few I know I won't reread, so maybe I can donate them to our local library.

So, I'm starting to do giveaways on my YouTube channel

Giveaway at the end

All you have to do is leave a comment  stating if you would, or wouldn't be willing to accept gently used makeup, like eye shadow palettes, or blushes,  that I would disinfect with alcohol, before shipping them.  That's it.  You will be entered.   Odds are good right now, cause I only have 4 entries so far.  Several days left to go. Won't draw the winner until probably next Thur or so and post the winner next Fri. 

And I'll be doing a giveaway at least monthly, so you might think about subscribing to my channel and checking out my videos.  I'll do a bigger giveaway when I hit 300 subs, and I only have 20 subs left to go to get there.

Anyway, things are going ok I guess.  Been on vacation for the last week.  I don't want to go back on Monday.  I really don't.  I need to win the lottery, or get so many subs and view on my YouTube channel that I start making money lol.   Then I could just stay at home and play with my makeup and make videos several times a week. That would be so great!  I've had fun filming extra this week.  I've still got one or two more I want to film and have one waiting to be put on YouTube on Sunday.  I do enjoy making my videos.  Wish I was better at putting on makeup and could do more tutorials.  My tutorials or get ready with me just don't get many views.

The beauty world on YouTube is sure going through some shit right now.  Things coming out I'm betting the big gurus wish stayed hidden. Channels losing 10s of thousands of subs.  Its crazy!  Things are weird out there in the beauty world. 

For the month of Sept I've got 2 main challenges going on.  A Low Sugar challenge where I'm going to wean myself down from the added sugars in stuff, and a Low Buy for makeup.  I need to try and use some of what I've got and lower my buying.  So of COURSE things go on sale this weekend.  I will let myself get a couple things.  Bitter Lace Beauty has a sale, and I ADORE their highlighters.  So I "NEED" a new one, right?    And the SECOND Makeup Geek puts out their fall palette, I'll be all over it like Yogi Bear on a picnic basket.

So I managed to lose 4lbs this summer.  And that's with eating a LOT of crap all summer long.  Hoping with my low sugar challenge, I can drop a few more pounds.  Last time I did one, I lost 4lbs in a month just from avoiding the obvious sugar in things.   Put that together with a good workout routine, I might see an inch or so come off my body.  I'd be down with that. 

Not much else.  Now that summer is "over" I hope to get back to blogging more often.  I need to. I enjoy it.  Please, let me know if you'd like to see more makeup reviews or fitness stuff on here.  I'd like to do both more often.

Til next time, peace out people!

So I stimulated the local economy today with my sister lol

Ok, so we went to our local Agnes and Dora rep's house and bought clothes we probably didn't need but bought them anyway lol.
Ok, I REALLY didn't need them.  At least my sister is a teacher and dresses nice to go to work.  I'm a nurse and wear scrubs everyday I go to work.  I do enjoy dressing nice when hubby and I go on our little trips to Des Moines.  And I'd like to start going to other places like hitting Kansas City up once in a while for a change of pace.

I started ordering these pants. No these are not my legs:

 Then when we got these, I picked up this dress:

 And this shirt.

And another one, but if you want to see it you can check out my Instagram page.
Barbells.and.Beauty

Still trying to lose weight only it doesn't want to be lost.  All I want to eat is ice cream cause its FREAKING HOT AS SHIT here.  OMG,  I'm over this heat.  I get puffy when it gets hot outside.  My rings don't fit right. My ankles are a little more swollen.  And I drink plenty of water.  Like a gallon a day.  Still puffy. UGH.

They are saying we'll get a mini break from the heat over the weekend and for a few days after.  Highs in the 80s, which I can handle.  96 degrees with heat indexes over 108 is just to hot.  And that's where we were today.

Is it early fall yet?

Tired of summer

Never thought I'd say that.   But I am.  I'm tired of summer.

This summer has been hot, for a much longer period of time that usual.  We had 90s in May.  In MAY.  Ok, once in a while we'll have a day maybe two, where it will hit 90, but that's all.  This year, it was a whole bunch of days.  Then more in June, then more so far in July.   I'm over it.  I like 80s.  Warm enough to wear shorts, but not so hot you think you're gonna melt.  Cause here in Iowa we often have high humidity.  All the corn we grow pumps out humidity like crazy.  So it will be 95 with a heat index over 105.  UGH.  So you just walk around outside damp cause the sweat doesn't evaporate.  It just stays on there.  UGH!

I'm ready for leggings, boots, etc.  I'm just tired of being hot, and tired of walking around half wet outside. 

I'm also tired of being fat.  I just can't seem to get it together enough to get this weight off.  I've lost 20lbs but sadly its been the same 5lbs over and over again.   This is so depressing.  I mean, I just can't seem to get my shit together, and get this weight off.   I'll do great for a couple days, then fair for another day or two, then it all falls apart.  I'll skip a couple workouts, I'll eat a bunch of crap.  And the weight stays the same. 

I don't know what it is about my level of dedication, but it is kind of sucky right now.  I mean I want to get into better shape, I want to get this belly fat off. But apparently I don't based on my actions.  There is something stopping me from obtaining my goals. 

So I did something.  I ordered this book:

I hope I get some tips out of this that will help me out cause I sure need it. 

Down almost 3lbs!

I know how awesome!  A few friends at work, and a few of their family members, have joined me in a summer challenge.  We're gonna see who can lose the biggest percentage of our body weight.  And I'm down almost 3lbs.  Ok, so that's a very small number, but I've been sloooowly gaining here so to have any weight loss at all, is HUGE for me!  So don't go harshing my joy!

I've gotten some new makeup (big shock right) here lately.  I think after this I'm going to slow up again.  I've managed to hit pan on a couple things and I got so excited that I managed to hit pan!  I'd like to do that on a couple other things before the year is over.  I can do it, I know I can.

Here is one thing I've gotten already: 

The BH Cosmetics Aurora Lights palette.  I can't wait to dig into this.  This time of year I'm either "I WANT COLOR" or I want very light taupe/brown you can barely see.  This will obviously be for the I want color days lol.

I ordered this one too:

Urban Decay's Born to Run.  It won't get here until Tue or Wed. and the wait is killing me lol.

I'm starting to schedule my workouts in my day planner.  I need to be dedicated to my workouts. Period.  I've been skipping workouts and its not a good thing.  I won't get fit skipping workouts.  And I want to get fit.

So I hope to be blogging in another couple weeks and being able to say I'm down 5lbs!  That's my goal.   So I need to set steps to use to reach that goal! 

Has it really been 2 months?

WOW!  I could have sworn it was less than that since I last blogged.

Oh well.  Guess I've not had much to say.  Oh I know I had one time I typed out a partial blog and then deleted it cause it was just a bunch of whining when I'd had a bad day.   

Things are weird here in southwest Iowa.  We are under a boil order for water.  Guess some filter broke at the main water processing plant and God knows when they will get it replaced.  So now we are to boil the water or drink bottled.  What an ass pain.  And even are suppose to even wash the dishes in boiled water cause dishwashers don't get hot enough for long enough.  Screw that.  I'l take my chances.  I'll drink bottled and boiled water, but I'm not boiling water, waiting for it to cool, then washing dishes by hand in it.   Nope.

So I got this the other day.

                                                                                                                                               

Its a day planner.  Wonder Woman lol.  I've loved Wonder Woman since I was a girl watching the tv show.  I'm turning it into a fitness planner.  Gonna plan out workouts, track my daily totals for macros/calories, weight, steps,  and maybe even do some meal planning.   

I've also joined 2 challenges. One is a month long challenge with ladies from work.  Just a "lets get fit" thing.  We each paid $5 and we'll see how much percentage of weight we can lose, winner gets the pot.  I'm not really expecting to win but its great to have the ladies with me

The other is a 60 day accountability group where you check in daily.  Again, just something to help me keep at it if I have to check in.  2 days done, 58 left to go lol.

Off to read up the Sunday School lesson I'm doing at the nursing home tomorrow.  Should at least be able to say all the names right.  Why can't people in the Bible have names like "Bob" or "Billy"  No its like Zephaniah lol  Should get to reading.

Until next time

Back to heavy weights in April!

So, I took a couple weeks off of heavy weights to do some of my video workouts which was a nice change.  But well, now I'm getting the very big itch to lift heavy again.   So next month, after I pig out on Easter Sunday, I'm gonna start this program:

I like this cause well, its got 5 day a week, 4 day a week and 3 day a week options for workouts. No matter what I can find an option for me to do.

I'm getting ready for my clean eating challenge.  Tomorrow I'm going to take measurements.  UGH!  I'd rather not, but I need to know where I'm starting from so I know how far I've gone.

I'm trying to really find a good journal to use to track my fitness.  I've got a bullet journal and its good, but well, sometimes its hard to keep up on a daily basis.  How do people keep bullet journals up everyday??? LOL

I've gotten quite a bit of new makeup in the last 6 weeks and now I think its time to cut back a little and use it, and review it on my beauty channel.   I'll post some links to a few new videos I've done in the last couple weeks off to the right.

Hope things are going well for everyone who is reading this!

Did something different

So, for a while now, I've been feeling a little UGH about my fitness routine. I was lifting heavy and I wasn't feeling very inspired or motivated.
So for the last couple weeks, I've been doing my fitness videos and streaming workouts.   I was really fun.  I reconnected with some of my old Firm workouts, and some of the very old workouts I really use to love to do.

But the itch to lift heavy is starting to get to me.  I was watching a friend's Instagram workout the other day and I almost tried the workout she had on there.

So here I've been sitting, looking at all the lifting programs I've got here at a home, looking at lifting programs on the internet looking at all my lifting books.  I will pick out a program to do.  And here's what I'm planning to do.  Every 6-8 weeks I'll take 2 weeks off to do my videos, streaming etc workouts to keep myself from getting burnt out on lifting heavy.   And to keep myself interested in my fitness journey.

A friend and I are starting a new challenge in April, after Easter of course lol.  For her, she wants to do a Whole 30 program. For me, I want to do a clean eating challenge.   I think having a friend to talk to when things get tough, and I'm feeling like sluffing off will help me.  I did a similar challenge when I was Crossfitting a couple years ago, and having the group helped a lot.  And I managed to drop a little fat too.

My low sugar challenge isn't going quite as well as I was hoping, but I have managed to cut back on sugar some, so all in all its ok.  I've got just under 2 weeks to go so I can manage.

Not much else going on. Or rather, not much going on that I can talk about.  There are things going on but I can't talk about it.  Oh, there is no gag order, but I'd rather not get fired.  Lets just leave it at that. 

My low sugar challenge for March

Just a warning for those I might be around for the next couple days, I'm cutting WAY back on sugar for the month of March.  I know from last year when I did something very similar, I had a couple days where I was a little bitchy. 
Now, I will allow my creamer in my coffee.  Some is sugar free,  but the others, have some, but I'm not going to give that up.  Maybe getting a little sugar in my creamer will help keep me from having the bad withdrawal. I hope so
I also will allow treats, like when we go see Death Wish next week.  I will be having Reese's Pieces in the theater.  Bite me lol.  You will pry movie theater popcorn and candy out of my hands at a theater when I'm dead.

I've made myself a fitness journal. I'm going to keep track of some crap.  I hope that maybe keeping track of steps, eating, etc it will help keep me on the fitness path.  Been kind of meandering in my fitness journey here and I'm not sure what to do to really feel it again.   I use to really enjoy getting up and working out, but now it almost feel like a chore.  All of it.    I'm not sure what happened.  I mean I do enjoy the feeling when I'm done, but it just seems like getting up, getting ready, going to do the actual workout, just ugh.  I'm to lazy now to want to do it.

Maybe its the workout program I'm trying to do.  Maybe I need to find something that really trips my trigger.   The one place I use to go to find a new program is Bodybuilding.com but no more.  Now they want people to PAY for the programs that use to be free. If they think I'm going to PAY for that they are just fucking STUPID!  My word. I'll just google workouts and find some for free thank you very much. Hell, I can find a bunch for free on YouTube, Pinterest, Google, I don't need you Bodybuilding.com and you All Access pay for programs.  What's really shitty, they are having people pay for these programs that the instructors have probably provided for free.

Work has been ok.  Same shit different day I guess.  Same crap the administration is doing, but at least the flu season seems , SEEMS, to be slowing down some.  Seems to.  I don't want to jinx myself cause I work this weekend.

I should get up and walk a little bit. I sat quite a bit doing my fitness bullet journal today so I don't have many steps in.  I should but its not looking good lol.

Is flu season over yet?????

As you know I'm a nurse.  I work in a small hospital.  Flu season has hit the area HARD.  We've been full of patients, full of flu patients, full of repeat, discharged and back in a few days, patients.  Nurses calling in sick cause they now have something.  Full of texts or calls "can you work?" (NO)  Full of call lights,  (will you just go to sleep already) full of family members(sometimes being assholes) and full of I'm kind of burnt out and ready for 2 whole nights off.  I don't want Monday to come cause that means going back to work again.  And I kind of don't want to.   Maybe the flu will start to lessen.  I hope so.  Its been a tough one this year.

 And on top of everything else, I have to wait to see Black Panther.  We could go see it on Sat, but well, I'm betting its gonna be full and I'm over crowds.  I just want to sit in my chair, and do nothing. Go nowhere, see no one but my hubby.  But then I work Mon and Tue so I have to wait until Wed to see it. UGH!

I've not made a YouTube video in quite a while. I just have not had the energy to get up and get one made.  I guess I just don't care right now.  I've got a couple I want to get made this weekend, so maybe I can get an extra one made for later in the week.

Not much else to say other than I'm tired, and now I'm pissed at myself for picking up an extra shift at the nursing home.  WTF was I thinking???  Of course when I picked it up, I had no idea I'd be coming off 2 weeks of almost long ass crappy(sometimes literally) nights at the hospital. 

What to blog, what to blog?

I wanted to write something, but I have no freaking idea what to write about lol.

I've been a lazy slug this weekend.  I had so many things I wanted to do, but I've not done well, pretty much any of them. I've read, taken naps lounged,loved my puppies and kitties and of course, surfed the net.

Tomorrow I have to go back to reality, and go back to work. UGH!  Oh, I like my job, but well, its nice to not have to go to work lol.   Now if only I could win the lottery, or become some really large YouTuber and make tons of money and I could just stay at home and do nothing lol.  Ok, I'd make more YouTube videos lol.

It snowed. UGH!  I'm sick of snow, I'm sick of winter.  Even if I have tried to tell myself that we need the moisture, its easier to accept getting moisture when its 50 and raining than when its 15 and snowing.  Am I right? 

Sitting here thinking of the stuff I really should have done this weekend, but I really don't care enough to get up and do it lol.

I did manage to get a fitness planner/journal started.  Gonna keep it up so I can track what works, what doesn't, how regular I am at tracking food, workouts, etc.  And how I feel during the day. And a small section to track ideas for my fitness channel YouTube.

If you are interested in my fitness YouTube channel, here it is.  Not much there, but I'm hoping to post 1-2 videos a week.  Once I get a new tripod to hold my phone, I'm doing start filming parts of my workouts..

Rhonda Gets Fit, my fitness channel

For not knowing what to write, I've written more than I thought I would. 

Well thanks for nothing YouTube

Well, its pretty common knowledge now that YouTube changed their policy and now to get monetized you have to have 1000 subscribers and 4000 HOURS of views in a years time.  Great.  I worked my butt off to get the 10,000 views to get my monetizeation, and now, nope.  Goodby.  Jerks.

I only have 220 subs and only like 900 hours of view time in the last year.  So fuck.  Just when I was just starting to see the money going up in my account, ever so slightly closer to the magic payout  amount, and now, unless I can magically create 800 subscribers and like 3500 hours of view time, I lose it all.

I'm not going to stop making videos, cause its a great hobby, but well, I was hoping to maybe this year make a little money which I would have either invested in new equipment for my channel like better lights, lenses,etc, and maybe into giveaways for my subscribers.   Now, it won't happen probably for a couple years.   UGH!

I'm going to Des Moines on Sat by myself and doing some shopping.  I think I might pick up some decorations to have in the background for my channel.  I have a backdrop, but I think sometimes I'd like to have something different so we'll see what I find.  I also will buy new shoes, cause, well, NEW SHOES!   I might show them off on my channel soon. 

Yes, maybe I might expand out to showing off shoes, clothes, etc along with makeup and skin care.   If you are interested let me know.

I'm going to be going through my makeup collection and getting rid of a few things.  A couple blushes and one foundation are going bad I'm pretty sure, so they need tossed.  And a few palettes, I can just do without.    Decluttering at its best.

Hope things are well for you.

SHERLOCK IS HOME!!!

And I'm just a little bit excited. Ok, maybe a whole BUNCH excited.

Yes, I'm in my scrubs.  He came home on Fri when I was at work, of course. So I didn't get to see him until Sat morning about 12 hours after he got home.  Little devil.  He's thinner than he was, but overall seems pretty healthy.

And he seems very happy to be home.

And he's stayed as far away from doors going outside as he can lol.

I'm trying to figure out my calories and macros to eat to get rid of some of this fat I carry around my waist. Its fucking HARD!  I don't want to cut back much,  as I have a big appetite and to be quite honest, I like eating and get rather bitchy when I cut back to much.   But sadly I think I need to cut my carbs back some to get rid of the belly fat.  Time to get more bacon I guess.  More bacon and eggs for breakfast and less cereal. 

Workouts have been ok.  I need to train more days a week, but they are killers when I do manage to hit my home gym.  If you are interested in my home gym, here's a link:
My Home Gym

Not much else to say.  Trying to recover from my shit storm of a weekend at work.  The flu is hitting big time, and its not fun.  Thankfully, I have a few days/nights off to recover.

I can't believe I bought that! FAINTS

So, after weeks of considering, looking at, wishing for, and dreaming about, I finally got this.

This is the Viseart Grande Pro Volume 1 palette.  It cost, wait for it, $175.  Yes, I mean $175.  And I ordered it.  No I'm not crazy.  Ok, I am, but not really.  I ordered it from Beautylish, and they have a flexable payment plan so I can pay for it in 3 payments.

Now, I love LOVE Viseart. I've got 2 12color palettes from them, and I love them. They are quite frankly the best eye shadows I've got. Blend well, last 14+ hours look amazing. And the 12 color ones were $80.  So I got 24 colors for $160.  So 30 colors at $175 is a "steal" lol.

Besides, this sets of my Slow to No Buying Challenge I'm going to do for 6 weeks.  Until Feb 28, I'm going to greatly reduce the amount of makeup I'm going to buy.  I've got more than enough, and the stuff I've seen that's coming out soon, it doesn't inspire me at all.   It all looks the same or its from brands that are very inconsistent in their products. Either they are nice, or crappy. 

So, I'm going to put more money in savings, and maybe buy a new pair of shoes, or a nice outfit.   And use up the makeup that I already have.

I'm also going to start a Pan Project for some of my makeup.  Pan projects are where you use makeup enough that you either use it up, you hit the pan in powder like eye shadows or blushes, or you decide you just don't like it and declutter it.  I'm going to be deciding which products to hit pan on for 2018 and film a video on the products I have decided to use up.

Been trying to workout.  This week sucked cause well, I lost Sherlock and I've not seen him since Tue. Its Sat now. I don't think I'll ever see him again.   In my happy place, in my happy thoughts, I want to think cause he's so friendly, someone took him in, and are now keeping him warm and happy.  I don't want to think the other thoughts.  Nope, I've cried enough, thank you very much.

One of my kitties is lost, and its all my fault

My kitty Sherlock got outside yesterday.  I'm 99% sure its cause I didn't quite get the kitchen door all the way latched and so it blew open, and out he went.  We can't find him. Its been more than 24 hours now, getting closer to 36, and I'm devastated.  He was my special kitty.  I found him living outside as a very young kitten, and got him inside. In a couple weeks had a very nasty ear infection that darn near killed him.  I mean I was giving him water and tuna juice for a couple days to keep him alive until the antibiotics kicked in.  Since then he walks with a tilted head I think as a result from damage from that ear infection.  And now he's lost, outside, probably dead by now, but if he's still alive, he's scared and hungry and I can't find him to help him.

I've been alternating between trying not to cry cause I'm around people, or sobbing like a toddler who lost their teddy bear. I was walking around outside about an hour ago, sobbing, while putting the cat food in the dish we feed the cats in over and over hoping he'd hear it and maybe come to get food.  He didn't.  So I sobbed even harder as I went back in the house.

The weather is going to turn to crap tomorrow, so if he's not already dead, which is a good possibility, thanks to morons who think they need to drive 70mph on the highway we live on, or the fact we have fields around out house and raccoons and coyotes think cats are things to kill, he will freeze to death.

I hate thinking he might have been killed by a wild animal, scared panicked cause I couldn't get that fucking door shut. My poor kitty. I miss him. I miss him so much.  He would sit and look out our kitchen window with me in the mornings, or sit on the deep freeze and paw at us as we walked by so we would pet him.  He also loved to go into my gym with me.  He'd sometimes sneak in little scamp.

Here he is in the dog kennel.

Here he is helping me play video games.

I'm going to miss my Sherlock.  Please come back

So I need to get my crap together!

The holidays are over, and I need to get my crap together.  I've been slacking way to much.  Been buying way to much.  Been sitting way to much.  I need to get my shit up, moving and back saving money.  Or more money. 

I've decided to take up using a bullet journal.  I've ordered a nice looking journal and I'm hoping to get started in the next few days.  I've got a simple day planner, but I mainly use it to keep track of my workouts, and other fitness stuff, which is what I wanted it for.  But I want something to have to keep track of everything else.  Bills, stuff I want to do, videos I want to film.  That sort of thing.  And I think a bullet journal will be a good way to keep track of my life.  Easy, I can make it what I want it to be, and well, use stickers and all the pretty pens etc to make it mine. 

I did manage to do a good thing today.  I got my dressing room cleaned out.  Got rid of all the boxes, extra wrapping paper, stuff and it looks so much nicer.  I also decluttered a few makeup items I don't want anymore.  I need to get rid of even more, but well, its hard to get rid of makeup lol. At least for me it is. 

I've also decided to do a second "Wise Buying Challenge" for makeup.  I do have 1-2 things I want, but really, I don't need any new makeup for a while. I need to use what I've got and trust me, I've got A LOT!  And I've got a few new foundations I still need to review, and some I want to do a second opinion on, so I've got plenty to keep me busy.

I'm trying to get my YouTube channels to grow. I've now got two.  One that's beauty focused, the original Barbells and Beauty, and one that's fitness focused, Rhonda Gets Fit.   I think if I have a journal, where I schedule when to film my videos, it will be a good thing.  Might help me grow my channels just getting videos out there.  Can't hurt, now can it.

Been colder that SHIT here the last several days.  Like today, we were all happy it stayed above zero, as in Fahrenheit almost all day!  That's bad. I'm ready for spring.  Only a few more days and maybe it will get and stay warmer.  I can only hope.   I'm not a fan of winter, snow or cold weather.  My ancestors were not smart enough to go to a place with warm weather for a longer period during the year, and I'm not any smarter I guess.

So I'm still watching bullet journal YouTube videos, and trying to get in mind how I want to set mine up.  Mine will be very me I think lol.