I don't wanna go to work

As a few of you know I'm a nurse.  I work in a small hospital about a 40 min drive from my house.  I work 6pm til 6am.  I like the night shift being a night owl by nature.

I do enjoy being a nurse for the most part.  Some dealing with the rules of insurance and the bullshit of Medicare and Medicaid is crap.  And sometimes I do get tired of feeling like I care more about my patient's health than they do.  Hard to see the guy who uses drugs come in so dehydrated his urine is brown and thick.  Hard to see the woman who abuses her pain medications the State may take her kids away but she still uses them and ends up in the hospital again.  Hard to see the person morbidly obese with multiple problems still eat to much foods.

I'm not saying I'm the standard of health and I do everything perfect for my health. God knows I'm fat, and I eat to much, and I like to sit around to much.  But I'm trying to make changes.  I've increased my servings of fruit and more important, veggies I eat everyday.  Right now I'm in a No Processed Sugar challenge and doing ok in it.   I've also lost 2lbs in just over the week I've been on this challenge.   I've restarted Crossfit so I'm getting up and doing some exercise which feels pretty good.  I know I've got a long way to go, but I am trying.

I guess I'm just rambling on a little bit.  My main point is sometimes I'm not sure I want to be a nurse anymore.  Its hard.  It just is hard.  And I'm not sure how much longer I want to do that hard.  

I've got a now retired hubby who is home all the time after 27 years in the Air Force.  I'd like to be able to spend more time with him, and not be either at work, or sleeping half the day away.  I'd like to just get paid to stay at home and do nothing lol.  Guess that's not going to happen, so I'd better just think about which scrubs I'm going to wear today, and make sure I've got all the stuff I need in my bag.